Tom asks, “If there is so much income inequality, why can’t we win a Ryder Cup?”

Two things we know?  Europe crushed us yet again in the 2014 Ryder Cup 16.5 to 11.5.  And the Us has lost 80% of the last 11 Ryder Cups.  Second, golf is a rich persons game (Exhibit A Barack O’TomA).

Tom asks, “If income inequality is at an all-time high, why in the hell aren’t be winning some Ryder Cups?”.

Is the demise of the America’s Cup next?

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Domestic Violence High Commissioner Tom slaps Springer’s guests with suspensions

After every business, organization and government agency made their mandatory self-serving statements on domestic violence, they raced to drop this hot potato as fast as possible.

Enter Tom who started his consulting firm as the High Commissioner for Domestic Violence where Tom will adjudicate all cases in his infinite wisdom.  The Commissioner is patterned after Ken Feinberg the victim fund guru where he demands full authority, no accountability and tons of money. At his Inauguration as High Commissioner, Tom swore on a stack of NFL Playbooks that he is not afraid of Harvey Levin and TMZ.

In Tom’s first ruling he slapped a two show suspension on Jerry Springer show guests TomSon and his seven BabyMommas for fighting on stage and poor acting.

This is now a “settled” issue.

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Tom lauds AG Holder as he ushers him out the door

At a surprise Press Conference, Tom was over the top in lauding Attorney General Eric Folder Holder as he prepares to depart the Regime.  Tom complemented him for not cooperating in the Fast and Furious and IRS scandal investigations.  All his lawsuits to keep non-eligible voters eligible and voting were priceless.  He used the vast powers of the Government and its virtually unlimited resources to brow beat many a defendant to settle.  And of course his quick conclusions before civil rights investigations even started were invaluable.

Some pundits quipped that it sounded like Tom wanted to marry him.

 

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Pepsi’s Domestic Violence Policy

The CEO of Pepsi took the required shot to the head at the NFL over its Domestic Violence policy.  I did a search for Pepsi’s policy and came up dry.  Can anybody help me find their policy?

Do they suspend a worker immediately when charges are filed.  Is the suspension with or without pay.  If the worker is found guilty how long is their work suspension?  If jail time is involved can the worker take a leave of absence?

Are a higher or ;ower percentage of Pepsi’s workers involved n domestic violence compared to the NFL.

Nobody condones domestic violence, but is there a flag for piling on?

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Anheuser-Busch concerned about NFL’s handling of domestic violence…What are they drinking?

Mega advertiser Anheuser-Busch (Bud, Bud Light, Michelob etc.) is suddenly concerned about recent incidents of domestic violence by NFL players. Did the A-B folks just discover after years of sponsorship that most of domestic violence comes from the 1,696 players is the league?    What about the estimated 960,000 domestic violence incidents each year?  Were any of these domestic violence incidents fueled by beer? What are these A-B guys drinking?  Miller, Pabst, Coors?

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Barack to call for more “boots on the ground”

On October 9, 2014 Gwyneth Paltrow will host an historic 20th fundraiser dinner and celebration of income inequality in the Los Angeles area.

At this $32,500/plate dinner (second dinner free if order two drinks), Barack O’TomA is expected to call for more boots on the ground.  Barack will say he loves boots on the ground be they Manolos, Guccis, or Louboutins and they are willing to write big checks..

Can we get a selfie here?

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Tom reacts to reports that Khloe Kardashian split with rapper French Montana because he was “too needy”

Tom has mixed emotions when he heard reports that Khloe Kardashian has “stepped back” from her relationship with rapper French Montana (who).  Reports are circulating that Khloe found French “too needy”.

It seems like only a couple of months ago that Khloe desperate for a baby reached out to prolific BabyDaddy Tom  to satisfy her desire for a baby.

Tom is privately telling sources that he is willing to entertain Khloe on the long rebound subject to the approval of Bruce Jenner.

A Team of  Investigative Reporters from Entertainment TomVille (ET) are following this story.  They want to ask Tom how he keeps his skin so soft.  From Khloe, they want her to definitively compare her booty to sisters Kim and Kourtney Kardashian.

In the Green Room, Tom was overheard to say “I’ll show your needy”.

 

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Kendall Jenner Poses Topless [PHOTO]

Wow, what is this crew thinking?

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Mitt Tomney for President

Fresh off of polls showing he would now whip Barack O’TomA if the 2012 Presidential race was held now, Mitt faced an adoring crowd of reporters for Entertainment TomVille (ET).

Mitt reiterated that if you had voted for him, you all would have jet skis rather than food stamps and nutritious school lunches.  This just shows he hasn’t lost his touch.

Mitt is tan and rested.

Please make campaign checks out to Tom.

 

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Tom declares New York Fashion Week a bust without Kim, Dennis and Moammar

With Co. Moammar Gadhafi moving on to the Catwalk in the Sky, Tom had high hopes that Kim Tom-un and Dennis Tomman would steal the New York Fashion Week show.  Never have we known a trio of men with such fashion sense.

Just try to imagine Tom’s disappointment when he found out that they weren’t in the line up.

   

“Well maybe not a complete bust” said Tom as he walked back his comments.

   

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