What happened to Federal Reserve Chair Hottie Janet Yellen. With Quantitative Easing, everybody tried and succeeded in getting into her purse. What ever you were selling, “Loose Janet” was buying.
Now Tom hears tat Janet has ended her easy money ways.
Janet has to go and Tom calls on Barack O’TomA to nominate Lindsay Lohan to replace her.
I am sure that Mo’ne Davis is a wonderful girl and loves her family.
However, a girl pitching in a Little League series is at best a footnote in history. Visit any Middle School and you will see that girls mature faster than boys and many tower over their male peers. So at this age, we would expect there to be a few Mo’mes playing.
So enough with the Chevy commercials and throwing out the first pitch at the World Series.
15 minutes of fame don’t and shouldn’t last forever.
It is way past time to get the spotlight back on Tom where it belongs.
For those of you with a long memory, we heard time and time again during Princess’ Chelsea’s pregnancy how being a Grandmother was Hillary Rodman Clinton’s ultimate role.
But just like she outsourced intimate duties with King Bill to Monica Lewinsky, Queen Hillary has outsourced Grandmother duties so she can fundraise and campaign 24/7.
Did Mrs. Tom win this outsourcing contract?
With the cancellation of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”, Tom is planning the memorial service celebrating the death of quality TV.
The Learning Channel (TLC) in a betrayal of their name cancelled Honey Boo Boo because Mom June fell in love with convicted child molester Mark McDaniel. One can not figure what critical thinking went into this bizarre network decision.
Tom fears that the gap until Kylie Jenner reaches the age of consent is too long to sustain quality TV as we know it.
Now hat Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb have officially spilt over having children, Tom has emerged from the shadows and indicated that he is willing to accept Sofia even with her conditions. Who said that Republicans are conducting a War on Women. Tom declares a cease-fire for Sofia.
Political, government and corporate speak are merging to the horror of the population.
How many times have we heard “We take (insert name of screw up) seriously. Is anything really ever done?
Or how about the classic “We took (insert name of stupid action) in an abundance of caution.
Tom speaking to a conclave of TomVille government and business leaders dared to utter the phrase “in an abundance of common sense”, we should restrict travel from Ebola epidemic nations. Since we can’t tell for 21 days if they have the disease, what is the urgency for their travel? Aid workers, doctors and other essential personnel in the fight can be handled on a separate tract.
Just wondering why others are so smart and I am so dumb, If somebody can have Ebola for 21 days before displaying symptoms, what good to airport temperature checks do for the vast majority of travelers from the affected countries?
What is the urgency for these individuals to travel? If somebody from an Ebola ravaged country needs to travel, allow them to travel after spending 21 days in quarantine to prove that they are Ebola free.
What is the difference between offensive and defensive pass interference? Why isn’t Lindsay Lohan a major movie star? How many wars have ben won without boots on the ground?
Barack O’TomA 2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner was quick to comment on the 2014 winners Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi. While lauding their contributions to protecting children worldwide and promoting universal schooling, Barack cried “I waz robbed”. He opined that he really stepped up his peace game since winning the award in 2009. “Just look at the peace that I have brought to Iraq, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan and Ferguson, MO to name just a few.”
With Los Angeles on the cusp of a near certain approval of a $15.37/hour minimum wage for airport hotel employees, one can only wonder what that will do for ambition.
Dude, I want to be a banquet server.
No more worries about having enough change for bud.
“Dude, the Chicks love Slackers” intoned Tom.