Barack on Ebola: R-E-L-A-X as TomVille declared an Ebola Free Zone

Taking a page from Green Bay Packer QB Aaron Rodgers, Barack O’TomA  told the nation to relax about Ebola.  He assured an anxious nation that the same government that registered O’TomA Care on Healthcare.gov, set up Veteran Administration appointments and executive bonuses and secures the White House and the President, and provides non-answers daily to Social Security recipients who wait on the phone for hours has the Ebola thing under control.

Meanwhile Tom has declared TomVille an Ebola-Free Zone and has banned all flights originating from Ebola countries.

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Why are we letting folks from Ebola epidemic countries enter the USA?

Just wondering why others are so smart and I am so dumb,  If somebody can have Ebola for 21 days before displaying symptoms, what good to airport temperature checks do for the vast majority of travelers from the affected countries?

What is the urgency for these individuals to travel?  If somebody from an Ebola ravaged country needs to travel, allow them to travel after spending 21 days in quarantine to prove that they are Ebola free.

What is the difference between offensive and defensive pass interference?  Why isn’t Lindsay Lohan a major movie star?  How many wars have ben won without boots on the ground?

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Barack on 2014 Nobel Peace Prize: “I waz robbed”

Barack O’TomA 2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner was quick to comment on the 2014 winners Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi. While lauding their contributions to protecting children worldwide and promoting universal schooling, Barack cried “I waz robbed”.  He opined that he really stepped up his peace game since winning the award in 2009.  “Just look at the peace that I have brought to Iraq, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan and Ferguson, MO to name just a few.”

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Minimum Wage Hikes: Dude, I want to be a banquet server

With Los Angeles on the cusp of a near certain approval of a $15.37/hour  minimum wage for airport hotel employees, one can only wonder what that will do for ambition.

Dude, I want to be a banquet server.

No more worries about having enough change for bud.

“Dude, the Chicks love Slackers” intoned Tom.

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Tom congratulates Barack on increasing the income inequality coefficient to an all-time high

Tom loves money and people who have money in that order.  When congratulations are in order, Tom is the first in line to congratulate.

With that Tom personally called Barack O’TomA to congratulate him on moving the Gini Income Inequality Coefficient from0.467 when George W. Bush left office to an all time high of 0.477.

Despite a lot of spread the blame rhetoric and minimum wage propaganda, there is one main reason for the increased inequality and it is supported by Barack. The main cause is the Zero interest rate policies.  These artificially low rates reward borrowers and rich hedge fund guys with cheap money to play with and high stock prices.  On the other side of the equation, seniors and other savers are getting a pittance on their savings.  What does that spell?  Income Inequality

 

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Where is Kim Tom Eun?

It has been weeks since we have seen or heard from our Dear Leader Kim Tom Eun.  While most have celebrated his lack of Blogs here, others are worried. Tom has learned exclusively that Kim Tom Eun is receiving an extensive makeover for a more flamboyant look. Expect to see him on the catwalk at Pyongyang Fashion Week.

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R-E-L-A-X Barack. Nobody is trying to impeach you

Taking a page from Green Bay Packer QB Aaron Rodgers telling Cheeseheads to relax, Tom advised Barack and Michele O’TomA to relax.  Nobody is trying to impeach poor Barack.

 

Now if Rodgers doesn’t win tonight, he may be impeached.

 

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Tom asks, “If there is so much income inequality, why can’t we win a Ryder Cup?”

Two things we know?  Europe crushed us yet again in the 2014 Ryder Cup 16.5 to 11.5.  And the Us has lost 80% of the last 11 Ryder Cups.  Second, golf is a rich persons game (Exhibit A Barack O’TomA).

Tom asks, “If income inequality is at an all-time high, why in the hell aren’t be winning some Ryder Cups?”.

Is the demise of the America’s Cup next?

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Domestic Violence High Commissioner Tom slaps Springer’s guests with suspensions

After every business, organization and government agency made their mandatory self-serving statements on domestic violence, they raced to drop this hot potato as fast as possible.

Enter Tom who started his consulting firm as the High Commissioner for Domestic Violence where Tom will adjudicate all cases in his infinite wisdom.  The Commissioner is patterned after Ken Feinberg the victim fund guru where he demands full authority, no accountability and tons of money. At his Inauguration as High Commissioner, Tom swore on a stack of NFL Playbooks that he is not afraid of Harvey Levin and TMZ.

In Tom’s first ruling he slapped a two show suspension on Jerry Springer show guests TomSon and his seven BabyMommas for fighting on stage and poor acting.

This is now a “settled” issue.

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Tom lauds AG Holder as he ushers him out the door

At a surprise Press Conference, Tom was over the top in lauding Attorney General Eric Folder Holder as he prepares to depart the Regime.  Tom complemented him for not cooperating in the Fast and Furious and IRS scandal investigations.  All his lawsuits to keep non-eligible voters eligible and voting were priceless.  He used the vast powers of the Government and its virtually unlimited resources to brow beat many a defendant to settle.  And of course his quick conclusions before civil rights investigations even started were invaluable.

Some pundits quipped that it sounded like Tom wanted to marry him.

 

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