Led by economic basket case USA, the bankrupt G-8 nations have pledged $20 Billion for Arab Spring festivities in Tunisia and Egypt. This is on top of the $4.5 Billion Trust Fund for Libyan Rebels. Clearly this is a “can’t miss” investment opportunity on the order of Greek bonds.
A bitterly disappointed Tom advised the Press that he will be organizing Tom’s Spring where he will assemble an eclectic mix of idealistic college students who can’t get dates and assorted gangbangers to mass on the Capitol Mall and stare into their “smart” phones waiting for Tom to give the word with demands that Obama step down and join Hosni in a lovely Egyptian vacation spot.
Tom will accept no less than $25 Billion from G-8 nations or shudder Tom’s Spring may turn into Tom’s Summer.
Extortion is a wonderful thing.
Truth According To Tom 
You’re missing one thing – you need a mass murderer, like Ratko Mladic, to cash in for your money. I’d happily volunteer, but I was taught too well, so nobody can find the bodies. (Unless they can deep-dive, in which case, they couldn’t tell which of the bodies on the bottom of Lake Michigan are mine! 😉 )
I suppose I could restart down here in Ohio. Let’s see – the neighbor and his kid, the kid’s punk friend, the OTHER punk friend……. how many bodies do you need to be considered a mass murderer? 😀
Those are not bodies at the bottom of lake Michigan, they are called Chicago voters.
Well… tell ya what. We’ll just call them “under-represented voters”, how ’bout that? Under-represented, under-counted, under-water….. 😀
Besides, gotta keep the voters close to their ballot boxes! 😉