Newtron Tom praises Rick Satanorum for suspending his campaign

Minutes after Rick Satanorum announced that he is suspending his presidential campaign, a reinvigorated, but jowly Newtron Tom took to the stage to praise the Satanorum decision. Newtron Tom announced that he is the natural repository of the sore loser base of the party and will fight to make them proud.

Tom who often relied on the sore loser base in his elections praised Newtron Tom for his praise.

BREAKING NEWS, BREAKING NEWS: There wasn’t any Breaking News today.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: A Sweater Vest Sidewalk Sale starts a 2 p.m. in downtown TomVille.

LATE, LATE BREAKING NEWS: At the TomVille Sweater Vest Sales gala, Herman Raisin’ Cain announced that he was unsuspending his campaign saying “I have a feel for the women’s issues.”


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2 Responses to Newtron Tom praises Rick Satanorum for suspending his campaign

  1. John Erickson says:

    Could it be that Rickie is actually being a caring human being, and dropping out to take care of his daughter? Naw – he just ran out of sweater vests. After all, how many of those hideous creations could there BE in this world?!? 😉

    • tom says:

      Doesn’t Santorum have about 36 kids so not too much time for personal attention to any one of them. Besides I heard he signed with brooks Bros. as their sweater Vest Spokesman acing out the old Ohio State coach.

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