Barack O’TomA announces new GSA Party Planning and Secret Service Security Guard offerings

In a major address from the Oval Office, Barack O’TomA announced new Government services designed to bring in more than sufficient income to close the $15 Trillion federal debt. The announcement was covered by all broadcast outlets, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook and FarmVille.

Coming off a highly successful GSA conference in Vegas with tons of free publicity, the General Services Administration (GSA) Party Planning Service is a natural and a must have for weddings, funerals, conferences and any off-site meeting. Special discounts are available for Quinceaneras (need the Hispanic vote) and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (need to firm up the Jewish vote). You can choose from the menu of the services that you want including skits and practice reciting your rights under the 5th Amendment.

A separate offering is the new Secret Service Security Guard Service. Security services are offered worldwide. You can choose from a menu that includes prostitutes and tons of free publicity. It would be a natural to bundle the Guards service with GSA party planning and get a discounted rate.

Ending his speech, O’TomA proudly intoned “Now, this is change you can believe in — a real public private-partnership.”

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2 Responses to Barack O’TomA announces new GSA Party Planning and Secret Service Security Guard offerings

  1. John Erickson says:

    But wait. We have proof that the GSA spends money freely, and the Secret Service are tightwads. (Arguing over $47? REALLY?) So why don’t we just switch them around. Then there will ALWAYS be money for the hookers, and security will ALWAYS be cheap! 😀

    • tom says:

      And now that GSA has learned that prostitution is legal in Columbia, we won’t have to worry about them scheduling conferences in Vegas. Plus we know know why Barack O’TomA signed the Columbia Free Trade
      Agreement.

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