Mitt Tomney barks “Why didn’t I get the memo that women don’t like rich handsome guys anymore?”

Campaign aides are keeping their heads down as Mitt Tomney digests the fact that women stopped liking rich handsome guys in early November 2008. Tomney is demanding to know why he didn’t get the memo, who wrote the memo and what exactly did it say.

Rumors have it that this explosive document is currently in the hands of Tom. The memo documents how women universally and in unison decided that they liked men with gigantic protruding ears. These ears are so big and sensitive that they are bound to listen to everything women have to say as compared to all other mem who only hear conversation about sports and sex. The attraction was never about money but just about the proper looks. This became especially true when Barack O’TomA dumbed down rich to $250,000 (why bother?). Mitt Tomney is in good company as major male Hotties such as George Clooney and Gerard Butler are no longer able to get a “date”.

While Tom vigorously denies writing the memo, it is interesting that as a gruesomely ugly man of limited means, he is uniquely qualified to benefit from the new world order established by the memo.

BREAKING NEWS: TomVille Tonight will bw all over this story and will feature a parade of rich handsome guys crying in their collective beers. It isn’t pretty, but it is must see TV.

Exclusive In-Depth Investigation: The News Team explores where Barack O’Toma and Newtron Tom were when the memo was written. Are there fingerprints?

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2 Responses to Mitt Tomney barks “Why didn’t I get the memo that women don’t like rich handsome guys anymore?”

  1. John Erickson says:

    I think somebody’s played a trick on you. Women CLAIM to want guys who listen and act like they care, but soon as they see the bankroll, off they go! 😉
    (To anyone else than Tom: THIS IS A JOKE! THIS IS NOT, REPEAT NOT, WHAT I TRULY BELIEVE!)
    Hey, I don’t need a posse coming to hunt me down. Let ’em go find Zimmerman instead! 😀

    • tom says:

      You now have the thought police after you ranging from Rev. Sharpton to Hillary Rosen. I am now wondering if Mitt also didn’t get the memo on “Bad Boys” leading to his difficulty in polishing off Newt. But just in case, I have secured the former Bin Laden hiding place so I will be safe for years to come.

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