Barack O’TomA breaks wall-to-wall Jessica Simpson baby news to announce that Osama Bin Laden is still dead

Barack O’TomA spiked the Bin Laden is dead football during exclusive Jessica Simpson baby news coverage from the safety of Afghanistan. Declaring that the anniversary of the killing of Bin Laden will be a national holiday, O’TomA commissioned a new Quarter with his head on one side and Bin Laden’s head on the other side. Most true Americans appreciate O’TomA bravery as he watched the killing from the Situation Room via Skype.

If American children ever learn to read again, the story of O’TomA’s bravery will be mandatory reading.

BREAKING NEWS: O’TomA’s Press Secretary announced that the Administration has determined that this in not electioneering and that Bin Laden is still dead (although the Bin Laden death pictures are in the same vault as his birth certificate ready to be discovered by Geraldo Rivera and Donald Trump in a prime time special.

NEWS ALERT: Barack O’TomA will be taking another Bin Laden Victory Lap in 10 seconds…Repeat…Repeat

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