With his swimming skills rapidly devolving in front of our eyes at the Olympics, Michael Phelps and his entourage of Tom and Company have petitioned the London 2012 Olympic Committee to allow Phelps to use the Inner Tube in his remaining races. Tom expressed fears that if this request is not granted, Phelps might drown in the shallow end of the pool before the week is up.
Phelps was heard to say “This is harder than Soak City and Splash Mountain combined. I need a blunt to calm down”
Meanwhile, Tom has put in a request for noted Olympic Mr. Fix-It Mitt Tomney to take over as Phelps’ coach.