Tom reaches out to Barack O’TomA and offers Asylum in TomVille

With the O’TomA Regime teetering on collapse due to persistent high unemployment, record deficits and regulations so pervasive and stifling that every company and every family needs to have a lawyer in every meeting, Tom has generously offered asylum to Barack O’TomA. The situation has become even more dire recently as a Civil War has broken out in 1,600 locations (Chick-fil-A) nationwide. Further the Free American Army allegedly led by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are posed with rhetorical attacks in major cities nationwide.

In private negotiations, Tom assured Barack that in the Democratic Republic of TomVille that he would be able to pay his beloved 39.6% tax rate. In fact Tom said that with various state and local levies, taxes in TomVille are close if not exceeding the Fair Fhare of 98.6%.

By taking this asylum offer, Tom said that he would be able to start the peaceful transition of power to Mitt Romney. This asylum would be the most statesman like action since richard Nixon turned over power to Gerald Ford.

TomVille residents are already firing their guns in the air in celebration.


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5 Responses to Tom reaches out to Barack O’TomA and offers Asylum in TomVille

  1. So, will he be staying in the Moamar Gadaffy suite, or have the renovations to the Manuel Noriega suite been finished? (I didn’t know if you’d finished preparations on the Assad floor – I know all those extra chemical-weapons showers take a heck of a lot of plumbing! 😉 )
    ‘Course, if he can hang on a bit longer, I hear there’s discussions about a bankruptcy sale by the European Central Bank. I hear Spain’s gonna be a GREAT deal – what ain’t bankrupt will soon be burned, so you can get it at the Bruised and Reduced (to ashes) sale price! 😀

    • tom says:

      While these are all worthy alternatives, I have dicided to move the US Embassy in Bagdad, Iraq to tomville. AT 440,000 square meters, 21 buildings, $750 million to build and 15,00 employees not counting Hillary clinton, I believe it is the only place that has the proper grander. I am checking if it has a golf course before I make the final decision.

      • Just make sure you get an American built golf course, okay? I hear the hazards on the Baghdad courses are truly HAZARDS – the high-explosive kind!

      • tom says:

        I have commissioned Ralph Lauren to design the golf course. what could be more american than that?

      • Oh, you clever, clever person! Let him use all “Made In China” stuff, reject it as unAmerican, then pick up all the stuff cheap at the resale shop. Genius!
        Just make sure the balls aren’t yellow. ( “OMG! Did he REALLY just say that?!?” 😯 )

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