Tom rips National Enquirer for article predicting the death of lovable former child star Macauley Culkin

Today, Tom stood up for responsible journalism as he ripped the National Enquirer for an August 13, 2012 article stating that lovable former child star and Michael Jackson Apologist Macauley Culkin would be dead from drugs in 6 months.

Tom called the National Enquirer out for a sensationalized attempt to boost readership and advertising income.

Tom indicated that this was especially galling as his research including Senator Harry Reid’s impeccable source that broke the story that Mitt Romney didn’t pay taxes for 10 years. With the Senate majority Leader and this source, Tom has definitively predicted that the Culkin death would actually occur in 5 months and 29 days.

Separately TomVille State University, home of the fighting football Whigs, announced that they would be awarding their prestigious journalism award “The Bankrupt” to Tom.

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5 Responses to Tom rips National Enquirer for article predicting the death of lovable former child star Macauley Culkin

  1. I’d file this one under “Who gives a rodent’s behind”, but not wishing to insult the great and powerful Tom, will instead officially back his bet with a large donation of my own.
    Where should I send my dime? 😉

    • tom says:

      It was a naked grab for publicity using the good name of National enquirer and Culkin. It turns out from readership stats that only JoePa and Tom himself are more despised than Culkin and the Enquirer.

      Perhaps it is time to riff on the former Ocho Cinco

      • I say let him have it! How about we start a great rumour – a real Samson story? He lost his hair, now he’s lost his game – or something like that! 😀

      • tom says:

        Starring Bruce Willis or John Travolta?

      • Well, since Chaddie boy DOES have some hair, I’d say Johnny Revolting. Unless Bruce has gotten some better rugs these days – last movie I saw him with hair, even Shatner wouldn’t have accepted a rug that bad-looking.

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