In a surprise announcement, Tom announced Lance Armstrong will enter the Tour de TomVille

Tom was awash in self congratulations as he announced that No Time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong will compete in this years Tour de TomVille. The entry of Armstrong should bolster sagging Access Cable TV ratings and bring in some heavy-hitter sponsors such as TomVille Pet Grooming swelling the total purse.

In what now looks to be an incredible bit of timing, Tom just yesterday announced that he had forgiven Lance Armstrong for cheating on Cheryl Crow with Matthew Machoney.

At the press conference announcing the entry, Armstrong said that the Tour de TomVille was part of his “In Your Face World Tour 2012” that started yesterday with his mooning of the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.

I expect to wear the Tour de TomVille Lime Green and Avocado Jersey for each and every day of the competition crowed Armstrong.

Separately, it was announced that Tom would be riding the Schwinn Cruiser pace bike in the down hill start.


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4 Responses to In a surprise announcement, Tom announced Lance Armstrong will enter the Tour de TomVille

  1. So, do we purchase all the leftover “Live Strong” armbands at a discount, and wind them all together to give you a little extra thrust? 😀
    And remember to get yourself the most comfy seat you can, and mount it on a girl’s bike. After all, Lance has an unfair advantage – he doesn’t have to worry about a nut-crushing drop onto the top bar or seat horn. 😉

    • tom says:

      Never undersstimate the value of a good PR Agent, I have already rehabilitated the images of Manny ramirez, Barry bonds, Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwartzenegger

      • Well, then let’s grab those wristbands cheap, then save ’em for future profit, right? Gotta pay the PR bill somehow!
        Hey – HERE is a real gimmick. How ’bout we snare a couple bikes made for two, then do a “Team Armstrong”? Lance and Neil, two generations’ hero named Armstrong! Granted, it’d be hard to do so Michael Jackson, but there’s gotta be some Bonds and Ramirezes out there. (I just kinda figure it’d be a no-go with Schwizenfoozer there…….) 😀

      • tom says:

        The day Armstrong was banned it was the best fund raising day for the “foundation” $80K. Live Strong, PT Barnum wasn’t that wrong.

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