Tom calls for Waterboarding the Academy until Bigelow nominated for Zero Dark Thirty

Tom owner of the small business Tom’s Torture which is the leading private contractor providing enhanced interrogation techniques has called for waterboarding Motion Picture Academy members until they nominate Kathryn Bigelow for her directorial work in Zero Dark Thirty.

It is so confusing to Tom.  Is it a free speech issue, creative issue or moral issue?  Do we or don’t we love waterboarding?  Does a phony controversy sell movie tickets?

Wat is the Progressive position?  “Damn it, get me another bucket of water.” bellowed Tom.

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4 Responses to Tom calls for Waterboarding the Academy until Bigelow nominated for Zero Dark Thirty

  1. Okay, let’s try this again. The problem is too many folk think Bigelow makes documentaries. To this day, many people believe Indiana Jones kept a Commie sub from blowing up! 😀
    Or maybe it’s because she’s redefining the term “chick flick”? 😉

    • tom says:

      She is a fraud? Should I be waterboarding Michael Moore instead? Nah, his net worth is only $25 Million. We will let the IRS take care of him.

      • Well, she’s not a fraud, TECHNICALLY, so it’s not her fault. It’s the great unwashed masses who believe that Harrison Ford really DID get Adolf Hitler’s autograph!
        And definitely leave Moore to the IRS. They’re more familiar with repeatedly harpooning bloated targets…. 😉

      • tom says:

        And I thought it was Geraldo Rivera who made that discovery in
        al Capone’s crypt

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