Tom announces new Bank of TomVille Branch in Cyprus

On his way to a Press Conference at the flagship branch of the Bank Of TomVille, Tom was hit by a Glitter Bomb that Lindsay Lohan ducked on her way to Court.

At the press conference, a shaken Tom announced the opening of a new Bank of TomVille Branch in Cyprus.  New depositors will be offered the opportunity to pay an up from 10% fee directly to Tom cutting out the Cyprus government middleman.  Half price discounts will be offered to Russian Oligarchs and Russian Mafia Dons who deposit at least $1 Billion Rubles.  smaller depositors will receive a toaster and a picture of Tom.  Even smaller deposits will receive racy pictures of Angela Merkel.  And even smaller deposits will receive nude pictures of Lindsay Lohan.

Tom says “Let the invisible hand of the Free Market take hold”.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Entertainment, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s