Police are mystified by the sudden increase in “Swatting” incidents at the Tom Compound since tom inked his deal with a new Publicity team. Tom joins a list of stars Swatted” that include Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Rihanna, Aston Kutcher, P. Diddy, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.
Since the Tom Compound is slight more modest than either the Jackson Compound or the Kennedy Compound, the Los Angeles County Sherriff’s Department responds with One Swat Officer armed with an Obama approved single shot musket rifle. However, local drug dealers and prostitutes are complaining that they have to scramble when Tom is Swatted.
Tom has developed two theories on who is responsible for the Swatting calls. One is Mrs. Tom who can’t refuse a man in a uniform. The other is that hilarious prankster Aston Kutcher who is known for his pranks. It seems that tom inadvertently disparaged Aston Kutcher’s acting talents displayed in America’s favorite ground breaking SitCom “That 70s Show”. Kutcher may be getting his revenge.
Meanwhile, Tom’s new Publicists are patting themselves on the back saying that “We have never seen a publicity campaign take off like this”.