Tom sifts thru mountains of NSA phone records and discovers a threat to America

Unsheathing his pick ‘n’ shovel, Tom has taken on the task of Data mining all the NSA phone records. 

In this effort Tom has discovered a shadowy network of Greek Yogurt and Hummus distributors who appear to be hell-bent on taking over.  All the best looking women are already eating Greek Yogurt and Hummus could threaten French Onion Dip.

America can be grateful that Tom has made this discovery and is assembling a Seal Team 7 as we speak.


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