David Ortiz’s School of Anger Management: Classes forming daily

Tom just signed up for the 6 hour Platinum Anger Management course now being offered by the Boston Red Sox’s aging slugger David “Big Papi” Ortiz.  Recently after striking out in a game he managed his anger on a dugout phone after using the time-honored technique of counting to 10.

Tom is in desperate need of controlling his anger after seeing slanted, biased press coverage and pundit statements criticizing true American heroes such as Anthony “The Weiner” Weiner, Tiger Woody,  Bill Clinton and the Honorable Bob Filner, Mayor of San Diego.

Ever the feminist, Tom is considering obtaining a franchise to serve Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Tara Reed and Miley Cyrus with Auxiliary Classes for Alec Baldwin and Mel Gibson.

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