Fresh from a grueling partial victory over Windows 8.1, Tom is setting his sights on restoring order at “Truth According to Tom” after Kathleen Sebelius ousted Tom in a bruising battle royal.
However, Tom has taken a page out of his bitter rival Barack O’TomA’s playbook. In an exceeding deft move, Barack dispatched the overly sexy Homeland security Hottie Janet Napolitano to be President of the University of California. While this was a brilliant move, it was risky inserting such an obviously sexy Napolitano on the UC system.
Today, Tom announced that he was taking back editorial control of “Truth According to Tom” and has sent Kathleen Sebelius off to be President of TomVille State University (PSU).
In a somewhat related matter, Tom announced that the website HealthScare.gov was performing 62% batter than before. He did say that he didn’t know when before was and how many people got in before.