Monthly Archives: December 2013

Tom announces candidacy to be Texas Football Coach

Arriving in Austin in a ’57 Cadillac convertible with a Long Horn hood ornament wearing a huge Stetson hat and a burnt Orange sport coat, Tom announced his plan to be the next Football Coach at the University of Texas.  … Continue reading

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Cell Phone calls on airlines. Tom is readfy to rule.

As the FCC, FAA and FOOLS are getting ready to issue smart regulations on cell phone calls on airlines, Tom has announced the definitive regulation namely “calls approved by Tom”. First most calls are totally boring and unnecessary and will … Continue reading

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The Necklace

Is it the necklace? Or something else? I’ll never forget the excitement I felt when SueCar had me re-clasp her necklace.  Her look.  I could feel the closeness. Nothing so subtlety calls attention to beautiful breasts as the necklace.

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Tom reassures Angela Merkel after Selfies with Danish PM go viral

NSA sources confirm that Tom did call German Chancellor Angela Merkel to reassure her that she still “has his heart”.  Tom told Angela that it was mere innocent flirtation with tasty Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt that were captured on … Continue reading

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Tom dissolves official TomVille News Agency TNA

In a surprise move with divine inspiration from a re-set Vladimir Putin, Tom dissolved the official TomVille News Agency and replaced with a new and improved agency in his image. The new TomVille News Agency LT (Love Tom) will be … Continue reading

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Kim Jong Eu purges Uncle from power. Let the photoshopping begin

In a dramatic move, new North Korean dear Leader Kim Jong Eu purged his uncle Jung Son Thaek from power  ostensibly for having a bad haircut.  Now young Eu is photoshopping his uncle from pictures and documentaries. Normally, this might … Continue reading

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Wisconsin haters go wild as Badgers accept Bowl bid.

To the delight of University of Wisconsin haters everywhere, the Badgers (9-3) accepted a bid to the Capital One (What is in your wallet?) Bowl on January 1, 2014 against South Carolina(10-2}.  The highlight of this matchup that nobody wanted could … Continue reading

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Tom looks at $15/hour Minimum wage. What is not to love?

Ok, lets dispense with the theory that if a company’s cost rise too much that they will ship the jobs overseas (call centers etc.) or develop machines that can do the work and are never tardy, never take sick days and … Continue reading

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Muse

Where is my Muse?  Who is my Muse?  WTM Even hotter than LiLo is SuCar aka SEC Verb[edit] sucar (first-person singular present suco, past participle sucat) To immerse a body into a liquid in order to make it absorbe the … Continue reading

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Tom pushes back after Sebelius coup at “Truth According to Tom”

Fresh from a grueling partial victory over Windows 8.1, Tom is setting his sights on restoring order at “Truth According to Tom” after Kathleen Sebelius ousted Tom in a bruising battle royal. However, Tom has taken a page out of … Continue reading

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