In the ultimate man bites dog story, Vlad “The Bad” Putin slapped smart and biting sanctions on TomVille and Tom for supporting Barack “The Glib” O’TomA in the geopolitical battle over Crimea and Southeast TomVille.
These sanctions are devastating to Tom as TomVille Travel Agency was already taking reservations for Winter vacation packages in Siberia and Summer packages touring Soviet era Gulags.
In addition, Vlad the Bad suspects that Tom has amassed a huge fortune due to his friendship with Barack the Glib and their mutual investment in the XL Pipeline and gas and oil fracking.
This is dangerous territory. Tom is calling on Barack the Glib to appoint Joe “Hard Scrabble” Biden to negotiate a solution
Barack was heard barking on the phone, “Tell Hillary to hit the Reset Button one more time.