Tom is facing unprecedented criticism and ridicule of the Blog, “Truth According to Tom”. It has gotten so bad that posts have been recalled and Congressional Investigations have been launched. Tom has responded with two bold steps.
First, Tom hired Kenneth Feinberg, the lawyer, who took on the dicey problems of the 9/11 Victims Fund, the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill, the Boston Marathon bombing victims fund and the massive General Motors recall. Nothing silences criticism faster than cash distributed quickly by Feinberg.
Second, seeing that Congress is reluctant to ambush a woman like GM CEO Mary Barra, Tom has appointed 1st Daughter and aspiring porn star, TommySue, to take the helm as CEO of “Truth According to Tom” for the duration of the crisis.
Take this haters.
“If you want to book TommySue for your next “Independent” movie, contact Tom ASAP”, roared Tom.