Letterman to retire: Top 10 reasons why Tom should replace him

With news that David Letterman plans to retire in 2015 from the Late Show on CBS, Tom has retooled the tired old Letterman bit with the Top 10 Reasons “Why Tom should replace Letterman”.

#10.  Like Letterman, Tom is willing to harass employees and have sexual trysts with young producers.

#9. Tom loves Barack O’TomA.

#8. Tom is willing to show “more” of the fabulously buxom 1st Daughter TommySue.

#7. Tom will not stray from the Democratic Party Talking Points.

#6. Tom is willing to retain tired old bits like this for 31 years.

#5. Tom loves Barack O’TomA.

#4. Tom thinks Double Breasted suits and sneakers are stylish.

#3. Tom is willing to make mean jokes about Sarah Palin, John McCain and George W. Bush long after they have left the current scene.

#2. Tom loves Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer.

#1. Tom loves Barack O’TomA.

Speaking to reporters from TomVille Tonight, Tom confidently predicted, “I can get my ass kicked in the ratings by the Tonight Show just like Dave did. And by the way, who is Chelsea Handler?”

 

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