Tom urges obscure heterosexuals to come out of the closet

Tom has noted that America can’t start their day without seeing a coming out Gay announcement by some obscure personality.  Tom himself has anxiously awaited declarations by Daniel Webb, Ian Thorp, Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Clay Aiken and Rosie ‘O’Donnell.  Tom thanks MSNBC  and MSNfor its fine coverage of this matter.

With the nation’ interest peaked what better time for Tom to rollout his campaign for announcing obscure closet heterosexuals.   Tom is negotiating with Shawn Kemp, Cher, George Clooney and Bill Clinton to make surprise heartfelt announcements of heterosexuality.

Can the nation handle the suspense?

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