After trying for months to get to the left of Bernie Sanders, Hillary Rodman Clinton announced that her VP running mate will be Pope Francis. All Right Thinking Americans embrace the Pope’s plan to eliminate income inequality by taxing Protestants and Jews and giving the money to Catholics. To fill his pews, Francis is the most pro immigration person in the world. Finally, Francis as the third smartest person alive joins Barack O’TomA and Al “Carbon Big Foot” Bore as the only ones to understand climate change.
Simultaneously with this announcement, Barack O’TomA announced that Francis will replace current VP Joe Everyman Biden immediately to free up Joe to pursue his dream and get some of the positive vibe from Francis.