Fresh from coming out of the closet as a flaming Z Party activist, Tom tossed a bombshell into the Democratic Socialist Party primary elections.
Tom has learned exclusively that aging Socialists Burnie Sanders and the Pope are indeed the same person. Consider the evidence. Burnie and the Pope have never been seen together in person. The Pope has stopped preaching from the Old and New Testaments in favor of preaching from the Book of Burnie onthe evils of the capitalist system, Wall Street, Big money and the 1%.
Both want to spread the money around. The Pope is especially interesting in getting money from the poor to help pay off the massive settlements in the priest abuse scandals. Burnie wants the money for the bureaucrats.
Burnie is being fitted for a new hat.