Feeling the vibes coming from Mar-a-Lago, The Tom knew that he needed to save the nation from a stock market debacle that was sure to be blamed on the Big Guy.
Quickly slipping on his green eye shade visor and high waist, high water trousers, The Tom immediately sprung into action placing Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Larry Page and Mark Zuckerberg under house arrest in a underutilized The Tom Tower. Net only are they responsible for great wealth, they have unleashed an army of Fed-Ex and UPS trucks on our neighborhoods, Plus they appear to be the only identified villains in the Russian Collusion investigation.
As the word spread the markets stabilized, 401 (k) regained value and Burnie Sanders took aim at the villains noted above.
Truth According To Tom 
Sounds like a happy ending to me!
First Day with the Stock Market Whisper on the job the Dow is up over 330 points. I will absolutely take credit for all gains and no responsibly for any losses no matter how minor.