Tag Archives: Angela Merkel

Putin and Wingman Tom bolt G-20 meeting early

After a bruising series of meetings at the G-20 Summit in Australia, Vlad “The Bad” Putin and his Wingman Tom packed up and left. Vlad was overheard telling Tom< “I thought that Hottie Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt was supposed … Continue reading

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Tom reassures Angela Merkel after Selfies with Danish PM go viral

NSA sources confirm that Tom did call German Chancellor Angela Merkel to reassure her that she still “has his heart”.  Tom told Angela that it was mere innocent flirtation with tasty Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt that were captured on … Continue reading

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Power + Money = Hot

Like Barack and Hasan, Tom thinks that German Chancellor Angela Merkel is so hot.  She has world leaders and the EU eating out of her hand.  Her pant suits are bursting with power. But going back to 2008 or so,there … Continue reading

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Tom announces new Bank of TomVille Branch in Cyprus

On his way to a Press Conference at the flagship branch of the Bank Of TomVille, Tom was hit by a Glitter Bomb that Lindsay Lohan ducked on her way to Court. At the press conference, a shaken Tom announced … Continue reading

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Austerity is dead, let the party begin

Barack O’TomA joined Greek leaders and new French President Francois Hollande is declaring that austerity is dead. They agreed at the NATO Summit that it is best to ignore the debt and rev up the government. We need tons more … Continue reading

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Obama to Merkel, I need a Payday loan , stat

Increasingly frustrated by his inability to understand how the Social Security Trust Fund works and seared by the blowback on his big lie to Scott Pelley of CBS that there may not be enough money in the coffers to pay … Continue reading

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