Tag Archives: George Clooney

Are men more welcoming to groping than women?

Tom has obtained unpublished research verified by Fusion GPS that may  indicate that men are more welcoming to groping. than women  According to this research, 99.9%  of women would resist being groped by George  Clooney.  On the other hand, 99.9% … Continue reading

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George Looney Clooney criticizes money in politics

Fresh from a couple of huge fundraisers for Hilary Rodman Clinton, George Looney Clooney and the ever lovable Amal criticized money in politics.  He just hosted a bargain basement $33,400/person dinner followed by co-hosting an event at $353,000/couple. It is clear-eyed … Continue reading

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Tom tires of adulation at Oscars, Not

As Tom strolled the Red Carpet decked out in the latest fashions at the Academy Awards, he was inundated by investigative reporters from TomVille Tonight, Access TomVille and Inside TomVille, plus the morning shows Good Morning TomVille, Kelly and Tom … Continue reading

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Golden Globe reporting crushes Tom’s laments about the demise of great journalism

Last night at the Golden Globes Red Carpet, Hollywood reporters blew a huge hole in t\Tom’s lame theories that great journalism is dead. Tom had to admit that he heard some of the most in-depth, hard-hitting  follow-up question that he … Continue reading

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Tom urges obscure heterosexuals to come out of the closet

Tom has noted that America can’t start their day without seeing a coming out Gay announcement by some obscure personality.  Tom himself has anxiously awaited declarations by Daniel Webb, Ian Thorp, Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Clay Aiken and Rosie ‘O’Donnell.  … Continue reading

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Lawmakers and Barack O’TomA out to harpoon the TomVille Whale

The pressure on Bank of TomVille CEO Tom is intense as he announced $2-3 Billion in trading losses by the infamous and still unidentified TomVille Whale. While some believe that the TomVille Whale is a Trader, others speculate that the … Continue reading

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War clouds darken as Barack O’TomA sends Armed Forces to TomVille boarders to prevent Tom from sniping about Clooney event

Today we are ever closer to war as Barack O’TomA positioned troops at the TomVille boarders, moved Navy groups to the Sea of TomVille and flooded the air with Predator drones. Tom countered with bravado and announced at a Press … Continue reading

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Tom cheated at the Oscars sets his sights on Razzies

Tom along with BFFs George Clooney and Brad Pitt were shut out at the Oscar ceremony. For Tom a long time Susan Lucci of the Oscars, it was stiff upper lip time. But how will George and Brad adjust? Tom … Continue reading

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Tom officially declared the Susan Lucci of the Oscars 2012

Despite a star power that lights up the TomVille nights, Tom has silently become the Susan Lucci of the Oscars. TV Emmy Watchers (there are at least 1) may remember Lucci for her incredible string of daytime Emmy looses as … Continue reading

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People Mag names Bradley Cooper as Sexiest Man – Tom flys into a Rage

People Magazine just named Bradley Cooper as this year’s Sexiest Man. Upon hearing the news, Tom flew into a rage muttering that he had shoveled tons of money under the table to People Style Editors over the years and has … Continue reading

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