Tag Archives: Selfie

Tom’s Selfie Arm

No sooner did Tom wrestle the King of Selfies title from the reigning champion the Queen of Selfies, a 15-year-old hottie from Bethesda, MD that he started to notice changes.  It appears that Charles Darwin was right as Tom’s selfie … Continue reading

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Tom reassures Angela Merkel after Selfies with Danish PM go viral

NSA sources confirm that Tom did call German Chancellor Angela Merkel to reassure her that she still “has his heart”.  Tom told Angela that it was mere innocent flirtation with tasty Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt that were captured on … Continue reading

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Ted Cruz aims to take out Tom

Fresh from his “victory” over Barack O’TomA and O’TomACare, Ted Cruz is promising to take out a disloyal Tom for failing to take a stand in the Cruz designed Box Canyon. Tom is hunkered down with his advisors John McCain … Continue reading

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