Tag Archives: Ted Cruz

Ted “Cruisers” Cruz went potty all over himself at RNC

“Cruisers” Cruz needed a fully functioning diaper as he went potty all over himself at the Republican National Convention.  Why did he think he was given a prime time speaking slot if not to endorse The Donald.  Did he think … Continue reading

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The Tom asks Secret Service to beef up security

In an exclusive interview with Gun & Guns Magazine, The Tom outlined his security concerns after far left demonstrators have disrupted his events by hurling rocks and pepper spraying little girls. As most The Tom Aficionados know the heart of The … Continue reading

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8.9 on Political Richter Scale: The Tom names Hillary Rodman Clinton as his VP running mate

In the boldest move yet in the Presidential campaigns, The Tom rocked Ted Cruisers when he named Hillary Rodman Clinton as his Vice Presidential (VP) running mate.  This announcement came just seconds after The Cruiser had named former HP CEO Carly … Continue reading

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A Leader emerges as Tom roars “The Establishment is mad as hell and ain’t gonna take it any more”

As the country reaches a tipping point, Tom has emerged as a 3rd Party Presidential candidate representing the Establishment.  Tom can feel the vibe of an angry establishment. Only Tom can articulate the issues and feel the frustrations of the … Continue reading

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The Tom Pepper Sprays rivals

Saying that they were “becoming increasingly irritating”, The Tom pepper sprayed the Cruiser, Tomo Tomio and Gov. John Cashedout to chants of TomVille, TomVille, TomVille. Sunday Morning Pundits went scurrying to their thesauruses for synonyms to disarray, at war, etc. to … Continue reading

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The Tom is narrowing the Presidential field

Cross The Tom and you are out.  The Tom has already driven some of America’s finest from the Presidential race.  The following are some of The Tom’s notches on his campaign belt: Scott’s Walker, Rickie Perry, Link “Say who” Chafee, Jim … Continue reading

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The Tom creates havoc in Iowa, then pivots to New Hampshire

Fathers in Iowa are breathing a collective sigh of relief as they as they releases their wives and daughters from 24/7 surveillance due to the presence of the ruthlessly handsome Tom and the sexual rogue Bill “Bubba” Clinton”. Prior to … Continue reading

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Tom calls out Ted: “You are Cruising for a Bruising”

The Donald’s notorious Wingman Tom is taking dead aim at the Senator from Calgary, Canada, a one Ted “Cruisers” Cruz with his cruising for a bruising taunt.  Armed with the secret knowledge from the Donald that nobody likes Ted, Tom has an … Continue reading

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The Tom calls out The Donald and The Cruzer as lacking temperament

In a nonstop Twitter blast, The Tom called out The Donald and Ted Cruzer for lacking the temperament to be President.  The Tom may have exposed a raw nerve just ahead of tonight’s candidate debates. The Tom is on a … Continue reading

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Ted Cruz aims to take out Tom

Fresh from his “victory” over Barack O’TomA and O’TomACare, Ted Cruz is promising to take out a disloyal Tom for failing to take a stand in the Cruz designed Box Canyon. Tom is hunkered down with his advisors John McCain … Continue reading

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