Category Archives: Health and wellness

Tom’s Selfie Arm

No sooner did Tom wrestle the King of Selfies title from the reigning champion the Queen of Selfies, a 15-year-old hottie from Bethesda, MD that he started to notice changes.  It appears that Charles Darwin was right as Tom’s selfie … Continue reading

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Tom exonerates Fakebook in Cleveland murder matter

With Mark Zuckerberg guarding his $Billions and COO Sheryl Sandberg off somewhere Leaning In, it fell to Tom to clarify the matter of the Cleveland Murder posting.  Tom quickly clarified that the murder posting was NOT live streaming, but rather … Continue reading

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While The Donald hit Syria, The Tom readied his assault

Last night The Donald showed he wasn’t Pussyfooting around like Barack O’TomA as he ordered 59 TOMahawk Cruise Missiles for delivery to a Syrian airfield in retaliation for Syria’s use of saran gas. In a statement The Donald declared that … Continue reading

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Hosni Mubarak — Making Egypt Great Again

With news that one of Tom’s all time favorites Hosni Mubarak has been freed from jail, Hosni is ready willing and able to Make Egypt Great Again.  Although most observers don’t remember when Egypt was last great under Cleopatra (Liz … Continue reading

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Tom demonstrates an incredible feat of strength

While others may lose strength with age, Tom is proving to be the exception that proves the rule.  There was a time a few years ago when Tom struggled to bring in $200 worth of groceries.  Just the other day … Continue reading

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Curvy women more Intelligent?

New research from the University of Pittsburg and UC – Santa Barbara found that women with hour glass figures are more intelligent.  This is a sub discipline of waist to hip ratio (WHR)  study. Tom just announced that Kim KardASShian … Continue reading

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HEY-HEY HO-HO Chanting Demonstrators Got to Go

Am I the only person starting to tire of “News” coverage of chanting protestors blocking intersections, freeways and entrances to public building.  And what is with the chanting and drums.  Isn’t there anybody able to make a cogent argument.  Are … Continue reading

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Lady Gaga calls out Tom for being fat

Lady Gaga after the Super Bowl has taken to Social Media to call out Tom for being fat.  She has totally misconstrued Tom’s famous “love handles” for a roly-poly appearance.  This is nothing short of body shaming by Gaga.  We … Continue reading

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The Tom declares TomVille is now a Sanctuary City

  Amid the magistracy of TomVille’s famous pomp and circumstances, The Tom rose to the podium to declare that TomVille is now a Sanctuary City. Tom emphasized that only Tom himself is protected by this designation.  With this protection, The … Continue reading

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Who booked Lady Gaga for the Super Bowl?

A furious Tom is asking, ” Who in the hell booked Lady Gaga for the Super bowl Half Time?” Tom has established an opening Overs/Unders line of 80% who want to see her crash when she descends from the roof … Continue reading

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