Monthly Archives: May 2016

Tom tells an anxious Johnny Depp “I got your back”

While assuring Johnny Depp that he has his back.  Tom and his agents and crew have ben working behind the scenes to profit from Johnny’s recent run of bad luck in love and movies. Tom has enlisted his entourage to contact … Continue reading

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Hillary offers Burnie a Presidential proposition he can’t refuse

According to knowledgeable Tom sources, Hillary Rodman Clinton offered Burnie Sanders a Presidential proposition that the old Socialist couldn’t refuse.  Saying she was tired of his criticism of Big Banks especially the wise Goldman Sachs and their Speakers Bureau, Hillary … Continue reading

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Hillary Rodman Clinton to star in Tom’s remake of “You Got Mail”

Today, veteran Movie Mogul Tom announced his spectacular remake of the RomCom “You Got Mail” with Hillary Rodman Clinton fresh from the casting couch starring in a role made famous by an equally perky Meg Ryan.  The Donald is set to reprise the … Continue reading

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The Tom reacts to O’TomA and Rodman-Clinton disqualifying The Donald

The O’TomA White House and Hillary Rodman Clinton have both disqualified The Donald from being President based on temperament and a misreading of The Donald’s comments on Muslim immigrants. Evidently, these two lawyers have secret knowledge of an obscure constitutional provision … Continue reading

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The Tom tells Mitt Tomney to Shut the F Up

Ever since The Tom has started to clean up in the Primaries, a virulent Mitt Tomney has come out against The Tom. Tomney’s complaints about the The Tom and his temperament are out of line from a guy who was … Continue reading

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The Tom urges historic election outcome for Hillary Rodman Clinton

In a surprise Tweet, The Tom urged voters to rally for a historic election outcome for Hillary Rodman Clinton.  The Tom said that this is a historic opportunity to make Rodman-Clinton the first female major party candidate to lose a Presidential election. … Continue reading

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The Tom chows down on another Taco Bowl.

The hottest picture on the Internet is The Tom’s Taco Bowl. The Tom’s Taco Bowl is highly authentic and is composed of a secret recipe of Spam, Bologna, Pork ‘n’ Beans and Heinz Catsup. O Layla

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Purple Tom emerges as Prince’s long lost son

Thanks to heirfinders, Purple Tom has emerged as Prince’s son as the result of a brief liaison with Purple Tom’s mom.  Purple Tom is poised to inherit all of Prince’s estate valued at north of $400 Million. Looking at Purple … Continue reading

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