Monthly Archives: January 2012

Tom scores deal on Costa Concordia

Posted on January 31, 2012 by tom

In the market for a new TomVille Yacht for the Supreme Leader of TomVille, Tom was able to negotiate a sight unseen deal on the Costa Concordia from Carnival Cruise Lines. In addition, Carnival will be including the Captain in … Continue reading →

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Raising Cain, a miracle in TomVille

Posted on January 31, 2012 by tom

On the eve of the Florida Primary, the lovable, but bombastic Newtron Tom raised Herman “The Godfather” Cain from the political dead for a key endorsement. As Newtron Tom groaned on at the podium with his self-serving introduction of Cain, … Continue reading →

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Barack O’TomA wants to pick Mitt Tomney’s pockets

Posted on January 29, 2012 by tom

Multi-Millionaire (fewer multi) POTUS and panhandler for the Middle Class Barack O’TomA has a plan to pick the pockets of TomVille’s beloved multi-millionaire (more multi) Mitt Tomney to the tune of $15 Trillion. The only thing standing in the way … Continue reading →

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With TomVille in near ruins, Tom offs some Somalia pirates

Posted on January 25, 2012 by tom

A swashbuckling Tom facing critics of his Regime on all fronts and with economic troubles abounding took decisive action today and offed some Somalia pirates. Aides were very careful to lead Tom to the bad pirates from Somalia rather than … Continue reading →

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State of the TomVille Union speach hints at populism

Posted on January 25, 2012 by tom

In a fiery address to the citizens of TomVille, Tom honed his populist rhetoric. Not one for nuances, Tom called for all citizens to transfer all their money to Tom. For those who have seen the Chase commercials, there is … Continue reading →

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Tom officially declared the Susan Lucci of the Oscars 2012

Posted on January 24, 2012 by tom

Despite a star power that lights up the TomVille nights, Tom has silently become the Susan Lucci of the Oscars. TV Emmy Watchers (there are at least 1) may remember Lucci for her incredible string of daytime Emmy looses as … Continue reading →

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Breaking News: Oprah endorses Obama

Posted on January 23, 2012 by tom

Yesterday, in an incredible turn of events Oprah made the big reveal that she was supporting the reelection of Barack Obama. She kind of implied he couldn’t do any worse that he is doing in his first term. Some may … Continue reading →

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In a bold move Mitt Tomney will announce that he will be taking a Mistress to broaden his base

Posted on January 22, 2012 by tom

With Newtron tom’s surprise victory in the South TomVille primary fueled by the open marriage vote, Mitt Tomney will announce on TomVille tonight that he will be taking a mistress. Tomney feels that will enable him to cut into the … Continue reading →

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Newtron Tom back in the game after South TomVille primary

Posted on January 21, 2012 by tom

A supremely overconfident Newtron Tom proclaimed himself Dear Leader after a stunning come from behind victory in the South TomVille Primary. In addition he used a forum on the immensely popular TomVille Tonight show to blast host TomTomSon for his … Continue reading →

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Tom bristles at Rudest Cities rankings

Posted on January 19, 2012 by tom

Tom was outraged when reviewing Travel and Leisure magazine’s ranking of the rudest cities. In order the ranking was #1 New York followed by Miami, Washington, D.C., Los Angeles, Boston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Atlanta, Phoenix, Baltimore and Orlando. Getting on the … Continue reading →

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