Category Archives: News and politics

Mueller to investigate Moscow Mule cups?

The Tom is pleading with special prosecutor Robert Mueller to investigate Moscow Mule Cups for poisons and evidence of The Donald colluding with the Russians. The cups could be dangerous and if it sounds Russian, it could be collusion.  

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The Tom laments the leaks of President’s telephone call transcripts

We have had 45 Presidents and never before has anybody leaked their confidential telephone call transcripts with foreign leaders. Has the vitriol for this President overtaken common sense and the law?  What are the odds of getting others to be … Continue reading

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The Mooch is out. Is The Tom in?

With Anthony Scaramucci out as Communications Director,  The Tom asks why not me.  I have already forgotten my cursing lessons.

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Tom upgrades his **(*&^%$#%^&* verbal leadership game

With prodding from his mentor Anthony Scaramucci, The Tom is working feverishly to salt his speech with more salty language.  This seems to be the only way to rise above the din. Tom will be joining such legendary four mouths … Continue reading

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Big Reveal: Kim and Kanye’s Surrogate

With the news that Kayne West and Kim KardASSian’s surrogate is pregnant, the people want to know who the surrogate is and have turned to Tom Enquirer. In an exclusive, The Tom reveals that the surrogate is none other than … Continue reading

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Did Democrats plagiarize The Donald with their new slogan?

Right after the Democrats unveiled their new slogan, “Better Deal”. The Tom noticed that 50% of the slogan was plagiarized from The Donald’s “Art of the Deal”. This is the biggest plagiarism scandal since Melania Trump had some similar lines … Continue reading

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The Tom turns the tables on Adam Schiffless

After biting his lip for over 6 months, The Tom unloaded on Rank Member Adam Schiffless in language he is uniquely qualified to understand. The Tom said he can’t discuss the evidence, but Schiffless and his colleagues in the Clinton … Continue reading

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Preempting Adam Schiffless, The Tom bans Russian Rye

Moving at incredible speed, The Tom preempted Rank Member Adam Schiffless and banned Russian Rye before Schiffless could even start one of his innuendo campaigns. Tom said the evidence for the ban had nothing to do with Donald Jr.’s meeting … Continue reading

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Russian dressing banned

Courtesy  of Rank Member Adam Schiffless, King of Innuendo, the manufacture transport, sale and consumption  of Russian Dressing is banned effectively immediately. Schiffless said that we need to further investigate Russian Dressing and let the chips fall were they may.  … Continue reading

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The Donald introduces The Tom as his new son.

In a hastily convened major news conference, The Donald said that his former son Don Jr. will be needed to oversee Trump properties in Elbonia.  Consequently, he will  appoint The Tom as his new son. The Tom took the tou\rch … Continue reading

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