Monthly Archives: January 2015

News Alert: Punxsutawney Tom will make his Super Bowl prediction on 2/1/2015 @ 10:30 p.m. EST

With an incredible sting of 48 straight spot on predictions, Punxsutawney tom will revel his prediction  for Super Bowl 49 as noted above. Tom muttered, ” Do I have to go to PA to do this dumb stick or can … Continue reading

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To help resolve income inequality, Tom offers services to new divorcee Anne Dias Griffin

Tom heart went out to freshly divorced Anne Dias Griffin who is struggling to get a mere $1 million per month in child support for three children under the age of 10 from Chicago hedge fund billionaire Ken Griffin. Tom … Continue reading

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Hillary Rodman Clinton charters Union Pacific train to haul her baggage

all, but elected President Hillary Rodman Clinton has chartered a Union Pacific train to haul away her considerable baggage.  Thanks to Harry Reid, the is space available in the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository to keep this baggage from the … Continue reading

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Barack to Vladimir Putin: Didn’t you listen to my State of the Union speech either

A visibly upset Barack O’TomA was reviewing the overnights for his State of the Union speech.  Over 20 million Americans have tuned him out since his first State of the Union in 2009. Getting on the hotline to “Vlad The Bad”, … Continue reading

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Is it risky to be risqué?

Tom awaits poll result from Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus     Does  this rise to the high level of ribald, bawdy, Rabelaisian, racy, earthy, suggestive, naughty, smutty, crude (no way), lewd, blue or raunchy?  If you are … Continue reading

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Farmer Tom is “The Bachelor”

To the delight of women everywhere, Farmer Tom is the newest “Bachelor”.  People admire the small town farming community virtues of honesty, fair play, respect for the planet, resourcefulness, independence, entrepreneurial spirit and family values. Already speaking in some kind of … Continue reading

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Tom is nostalgic for Green Bay Packers era of Ray “Scooter” McLean

After the Green Bay Packers took a devastating heart breaking loss in the NFC Championship game to the Seattle Seahawks, Tom fell into a spell of nostalgia for the Coaching era of Ray “Scooter” McLean who was 0-2 in 1953 … Continue reading

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Rev. Al SharpTom to Motion Picture Academy: “I got your back”

Lost in his marches for justice for white police officers is The Rev. Al SharpTom’s constant search for the truth. Consequently many were surprised when the good Reverend supported an all white cohort of all white Oscar acting nominees. “He … Continue reading

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In interest of income inequality, Tom pursues new divorcee Sue Ann Arnall

NamelyTom has sprung into action upon hearing that Sue Ann Arnall has cashed her $975 million dollar divorce settlement check from her Ex, Chairman of Continental Resources Harold Hamm.  Tom said, “It may sound crass, but I am doing it only … Continue reading

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Golden Globe reporting crushes Tom’s laments about the demise of great journalism

Last night at the Golden Globes Red Carpet, Hollywood reporters blew a huge hole in t\Tom’s lame theories that great journalism is dead. Tom had to admit that he heard some of the most in-depth, hard-hitting  follow-up question that he … Continue reading

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