Monthly Archives: January 2016

The Tom is surging in Iowa

Posted on January 31, 2016 by tom

Internal polling has The Tom surging and now is a lock to clean up in both the Republican and Democratic Iowa Caucuses.  This Double-Double has never before been accomplished. The Tom captured the imagination of Democratic voters with his plan … Continue reading →

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Tom calls out Ted: “You are Cruising for a Bruising”

Posted on January 28, 2016 by tom

The Donald’s notorious Wingman Tom is taking dead aim at the Senator from Calgary, Canada, a one Ted “Cruisers” Cruz with his cruising for a bruising taunt.  Armed with the secret knowledge from the Donald that nobody likes Ted, Tom has an … Continue reading →

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Tom crushes Michael “Small Soda” Bloomberg’s presidential ambitions

Posted on January 27, 2016 by tom

Lustfully slurping from a huge 128 oz. soda, “Big Soda”Tom tore into Michael “Small Soda” Bloomberg with, “The people want more soda for less money not less soda for more money.  Besides after my main man Burnie Sanders gets thru with … Continue reading →

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The Tom will boycott Fox Republican Presidential Candidate debate

Posted on January 27, 2016 by tom

The Tom will join The Donald in boycotting the Fox Republican candidate debate because of the way that Megyn Kelly spells her first name. Most voters need to know that The Tom has boycotted all of the debates so far … Continue reading →

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Tom pitches a Duck Dynasty spinoff to BET Executives

Posted on January 22, 2016 by tom

Tom, ever the master of fortunate timing, is pitching a spinoff of Duck Dynasty starring Stacy Dash to executives of Black Entertainment Television (BET), Tom enthused, “The timing and venue for this show are beyond perfect.  When can we start production?”

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2017 Oscar Buzz: Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are a lock for Oscars in the remake of “The Danish Girl”

Posted on January 22, 2016 by tom

. The Buzz for next year’s Oscars has already started when Executive Producer Tom announced that he has signed Will and Jada Pinkett Smith to star in his remake of “The Danish Girl”.  Will Smith will  play Elbe/Einar Wagoner and … Continue reading →

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Tom boycotts Awards

Posted on January 21, 2016 by tom

With considerable fanfare, Tom announced that he is boycotting a record number of awards shows .  Tom’s list of diversity busters includes the BET Awards, Image Awards, Hispanic Choice Awards and the Latin Grammys. None of these awards shows recognized Tom … Continue reading →

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“I did not have sexual relations with that man… Mr. Clinton”

Posted on January 20, 2016 by tom

Hillary Rodman Clinton in an effort to nail down the female vote  just made her strongest statement yet in denying sexual relations with one Bill “Bubba” Clinton. So far The Donald and The Tom have yet to find any other … Continue reading →

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Cos opens a lead over Bubba Clinton in complaints by women

Posted on January 20, 2016 by tom

With the benefit of an early start in the 90s, Bill “Bubba” Clinton had a strong lead over Bill “Cos” Cosby in sexual assault claims by women.  Then in the last 10 years, the Cos has powered to what was … Continue reading →

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Finally Good News: Khloe Kardashian reveals there is a sex tape with Lamar

Posted on January 18, 2016 by tom

With all the bad news coming from all corners of the world, Tom was getting desperate for good news. Then came the breathless news that Khloe Kardashian revealed to Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live” that there is a … Continue reading →

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