Monthly Archives: October 2015

Barack announces new “Sandals for Troops” Strategic Initiative

In a surprise move Barack O’TomA ordered 50 Special Ops troops to Syria.  This is a slight pivot from the “No Boots on the Ground” policy. Barack indicated that under the new policy that troops will wear sandals rather than … Continue reading

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Buzzing: Kylie Jenner Wishes Caitlyn Jenner a Happy Birthday with Sentimental Selfie

Source: Buzzing: Kylie Jenner Wishes Caitlyn Jenner a Happy Birthday with Sentimental Selfie Happy Birthday Caitlyn, my selfie will be arriving later.  Please feel free NOT to send your Selfie back

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WHO whiffs on Ebola, but nails Bacon

Despite a less than stellar job on managing and solving the Ebola crisis, the World Health Organization (WHO) nailed bacon to the wall categorizing it with nuclear waste and smoking as a cancer risk. For its stellar work, Tom proposes topping their … Continue reading

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Only Tom dares to ask “Why does Manning have move commercials than Brady?”

Going straight to the core of Man’s existence, Tom asks why Peyton Manning has more commercials than Tom Brady.  Is it because companies don’t want to be tied too closely to handsome men?  Or is it because Brady has Gisele … Continue reading

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Tom laments the loss of the Income Inequality crown

With Spanish Zara magnate Amancio Ortega taking the richest man crown from Bill Gates $79.8 Billion to $76 billion, the USA loses any claim to being the envy of the Income Inequality backers.  And as Bernie Sanders wisely noted Amancio is … Continue reading

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With Tom’s coaching, Hillary walks on water at Benghazi hearing

While long credited with walking on water, Hillary Rodman Clinton proved the case under Tom’s tutelage.  Tom outfitted the brazen sex pot former Secretary in a micro-mini with 7 inch  Stiletto heels.  While other may have walked on water in … Continue reading

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Overshadowing Joe Biden, Tom announces decision on Presidential run

In a bombshell announcement that blew poor old Joe Biden away, Tom announced that he won’t seek the Democratic presidential nomination.  Like Tom, Joe was in living fear that Hillary Rodman Clinton would undelete some of her spiciness emails. A closet … Continue reading

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Kardashians are miracle workers

Many skeptics thought the Kardashians were nothing but a bunch of big booties with a publicity seeking machine.  How wrong you were when the Florence Nightingale Kardashians have brought Lamar Odom back from comatose to starting rehab in less than … Continue reading

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Finally, Tom can order a pizza on Twitter

Tom heard the exciting news yesterday that if he understood Twitter, he could use it to order a pizza from Domino’s.  This is undoubtedly the highest and best use of our smartest people. “Can the App be used to order … Continue reading

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Hillary Rodman Clinton solves Income Inequality with bold new Minimum Wage proposal

Rodman-Clinton secured the White House today with a bold new Minimum Wage proposal to solve Income Inequality.  While others talk, Rodman-Clinton takes action. Rodman-Clinton’s new Minimum Wage will be $300,000/hour.  This wage is based on her average 45 minute speeches … Continue reading

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