Monthly Archives: January 2017

Tom U announces classes forming on Demonstrations and Boycotting

Posted on January 31, 2017 by tom

Tom is proud to announce that the prestigious Tom University  will be offering classes with new majors in Demonstrations and Boycotts. The Boycotting class will be taught by Chuckie “Cry Me a River” Schumer and the Reverend Al SharpTom.  Chuckie Schumer … Continue reading →

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The Donald tells ABC News that he favors Waterboarding Chuckie Schumer

Posted on January 26, 2017 by tom

A suddenly robust Putinesque David Muir of ABC News was able to cajole from The Donald that he believes that Waterboarding works. In addition, The Donald recommended that the Waterboarding of Chuckie Schumer start immediately and continues until he stops … Continue reading →

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Mark Zuckerberg and Tom will not be running for President

Posted on January 25, 2017 by tom

In separate blockbuster announcements to BuzzFeed News, Mark  Zuckerberg  of Facebook and Tom indicated that they will not be running for President. Never in the history of politics were there less called for candidates. While Zuckerberg has the Midas touch … Continue reading →

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Tom to provide “safe space” for all who fear Trump Presidency

Posted on January 23, 2017 by tom

Today in a dramatic announcement, Tom introduced the TomVille Safe Space for all who fear a Trump Presidency. Located on the wind-blown plains of TomVille housed in Libyan surplus tents left by Col. Moammar Gadhafi, prices will mirror those at the … Continue reading →

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Tom transitions from StormWatch to StormTrac

Posted on January 22, 2017 by tom

With Southern California facing a rain storm that could only be called average in most parts of the world, Tom has transitioned to StormTrac status Finally cracking, Tom yells “We are all going to die”. V=

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El Tom asks “Why in ‘El’ did the USA extradite El Chapo from Mexico?”

Posted on January 21, 2017 by tom

El Tom is confused. Why did the USA want to extradite drug lord El Chapo from Mexico?  God knows the Mexican government had enough charges to lock him up for life.  It will probably cost US taxpayers about $100,000 per year … Continue reading →

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The Tom swears in Hillary Rodman Clinton as 45th President of the United States

Posted on January 20, 2017 by tom

Upon hearing from George Clintonopoules and the rest of the media that the Trump Inauguration speech was too “dark”, The Tom immediately climbed into the DeLorean to go Back to the Future to install Hillary Rodman Clinton as the 45th … Continue reading →

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On the eve of the Inauguration, The Tom challenges The Donald to a Tweet-Off

Posted on January 19, 2017 by tom

With the Inauguration in sight, The Tom issued an irresistible challenge to The Donald for a winner take all Tweet-Off. The Tom ever the aggressor leads off with the beauty of China Trade and athletic skills developed hopping boarder walls.  … Continue reading →

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Elected Officials are asking Tom “Should I boycott the Inaugurtion?”

Posted on January 16, 2017 by tom

Nationwide a nervous political class are worried about whether they should boycott the inauguration of Donald J. Trump. Answering these inquiries is turning into a lucrative consulting business for Tom. Tom is recommending a three-part analysis. First check if you received … Continue reading →

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Tom negotiating to bring 49ers, Browns and Jags to Los Angeles

Posted on January 12, 2017 by tom

After going 22 years without a Pro Football team, Los Angeles has retained Tom to bring the worst to Los Angeles, After securing the Rams and Chargers, Los Angeles is well on its way to bringing the worst teams to … Continue reading →

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