Monthly Archives: May 2014

Barack O’TomA announces Afghanistan war strategy

Striding up to the teleprompter enhanced podium, Barack O’TomA is prepared to announce his Afghanistan war strategy.  Barack intoned, “I need you to give this your closest attention as my policy is so smart, so robust, and so subtle that you … Continue reading

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Memorial Day and “Thank you for your service”

If this sounds like a cranky old Vet, it is.  But when less than 1% serve their country in the military. the automatic “Thank you for your service” rings a little hollow.  It is becoming cliché like “Have a nice … Continue reading

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Tom channels his inner DiCaprio

Tom quickly sprang into action on hearing that his celebrity rival Leonardo DiCraprio has installed a vitamin C shower in his $10 Million New York City pad. Even though crack reporters from Access TomVille and TomVille Tonight have not determined … Continue reading

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Let Mark Cuban be Mark Cuban

Memo to the Thought Police and 1st Amendment Enders (for everybody, but them):  If you can’t understand Mark Cuban or even Pat Sajak, let them be to exercise their free speech rights. Who is so politically correct in their every … Continue reading

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Sensing an historic shift in public opinion, Tom pitches Groomzillas Reality Show

Tom is making the rounds of the networks and cable channels to pitch his dramatic new Reality show called Groomzillas.  The pilot features figure skater Johnny Weir and Victor Voronov with a special guest appearance by Bruce Jenner. The target … Continue reading

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Tech luminaries tell Tom to get his head out of the Cloud

Coming off his strategic inspired defeat in the Swiss Minimum Wage referendum, Tom is rightfully walking around with his head in the cloud. The following Tech giants have ordered Tom to get his head out of the Cloud lest it be … Continue reading

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What is the Swiss minimum wage?

With the Swiss voters rejecting a referendum to impose a $25/hour minimum wage, the question is what is the current minimum wage in Switzerland?  The answer is that Switzerland is one of the few countries without a minimum wage.  It … Continue reading

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Tom revealed as a Dark Horse to Co-Host “The View”

Access TomVille and TomVille Tonight were all a Twitter as it was revealed that Tom is a leading candidate to Co-Host “The view” replacing a “retiring” Barbara Walters. In preparations for a series of interviews with Network executives, Tom has … Continue reading

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Psychiatrists baffled about Tom’s sudden fear of elevators

Psychiatrists are currently examining tom’s head to determine the cause of his sudden fear of elevators.  Could it be acrophobia?  Could it be Claustrophobia?  Could it be sursumdeorsumphobia? Or is it fear of Solange?  Jay Z has also been diagnosed.

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Oprah inks Michael Sam for Documentary

Coming on the heels of her hard-hitting Lindsay Lohan reality series, Oprah has pulled off a major coup and signed Michael Sam for a Documentary.  Ken Burns report to Oprah’s office immediately. “When will my story be told?  When will I … Continue reading

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