Monthly Archives: May 2013

Tom exhortsTSU Grads: “Ask not what you can do for your country – Ask what your country can do for you”

Posted on May 30, 2013 by tom

In a stirring and stem winding address to the graduates of TomVille State University (TSU), Tom laid out the secrets of life. Before launching his formal remarks, Tom effusively praised the graduating class for the use of their student fees … Continue reading →

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Hillary Rodham Clinton BioPic: Casting Couch Director Tom says “Bring It On”

Posted on May 28, 2013 by tom

Rumors of the Hillary Clinton BioPic are racing around Washington D.C. and Hollywood.  We have already heard that Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, Amanda Seyfried and Jessica Chastian are competing for the lead role. It is in situations like these where the … Continue reading →

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Memorial Day and the Army Anthem

Posted on May 26, 2013 by tom

If you hear the Army Anthem on Memorial Day, it is OK to applaud, but don’t forget the true meaning of the Day:  BBQ, Blockbuster Movies and the Unofficial start of Summer.  Thanks to all the Veterans who served and … Continue reading →

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Gay Cub Scouts and Lesbian Brownies

Posted on May 25, 2013 by tom

I may be struck by lightning before you get a chance to read this. The Scouting movement  is mainly for pre-teen kids and doesn’t need adult ventriloquist speaking through such young children.  These kids don’t need an agenda just an outlet … Continue reading →

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Tom will take the 5th at his IRS Tax Audit

Posted on May 22, 2013 by tom

Taking a cue from his Mentor and Hero Lois Lerner, Head of the IRS Exempt Organization Division,  Tom announced that he will be “Taking the 5th” at his upcoming tax audit (or was that drinking a 5th?). Tom said, “I … Continue reading →

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Tom rages at DoD: “Why in the hell have we paid the terrorist Major Hasan $278K in salary?”

Posted on May 21, 2013 by tom

Tom had to be pried from the walls today when he learned that the Department of Defense (DoD) has the terrorist Major Nadal Hasan on Administrative Leave and have paid him $278K since his murderous rampage at Ft. Hood in 2009 that … Continue reading →

Posted in News and politics, Organizations | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Tom buys Tumbler for $1.3 Billion

Posted on May 20, 2013 by tom

Tom totally stole the thunder and publicity of Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer purchase of Tumblr (say what) when he announced the purchase of Tumbler (cups) for a staggering $1.3 billion (Bitcoins). Tom wondered “How in hell can Yahoo compete with then … Continue reading →

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Barack O’TomA rolls out the “I don’t no nuthing” defense

Posted on May 16, 2013 by tom

Observers were in awe as Barack O’TomA, the smartest man ever to occupy the White House, seamless shifted from it is all George W.’s fault to “I don’t no nuthing” about Benghazi, IRS and AP subpoenas. On the Benghazi talking … Continue reading →

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Question of the Day: Is even Tom too smart to be a Network TV Programming Executive?

Posted on May 14, 2013 by tom

Legendary dullard Tom is contemplating the possibility that  his dream of being a Network TV Programming Executive may be ruined by being too smart for the job. Just this week, NBC and Fox have announced their upfront programming for advertisers.  … Continue reading →

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Tom lauds IRS for extra customer service on non-profit status application

Posted on May 13, 2013 by tom

Tom has been profuse in his praise of the IRS for their outstanding customer service and attention to detail in his 501(c)(4) application for tax exempt status for the TomVille Freedom Constitutional, Government Spending, Debt, Taxes and Death TEA Patriot … Continue reading →

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