Monthly Archives: January 2013

Tom admits he lip-synched National Anthem

Posted on January 31, 2013 by tom

Today to a throng of admiring entertainment reporters, Tom admitted that at the Inauguration, hee sang the National Anthem to a back-up recording by Beyoncé Knowles. This is not lip-synching if it is done by a major recording star. Tom said that … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Aretha Franklin, Beyonce Knowles, Inauguration, lip-synch, National Anthem, Roseanne Barr | Comments Off

With Ron Jeremy hospitalized, the Industry reaches out to Tom

Posted on January 31, 2013 by tom

With news that Ron Jeremy was hospitalized in critical condition with an aneurysm, the erotic Industry reached out to Tom to return to action. Most observers feel that this would be the only way to save the Industry in a time … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Colin Kaepernick, Lindsay Lohan, Porn, Porn Industry, Ron Jeremy, Tattoos | 2 Comments

Tom takes an option to re-make “Movie 43”

Posted on January 30, 2013 by tom

Despite rather savage reviews of “Movie 43” including: “A star-studded turkey”, “Citizen Kane of Awful”, “Aggressively tasteless” and “Zero out of 4 Stars”, Tom jumped at the opportunity to do a re-make because of his flair for tasteless and star … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Fashion, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Bake Bosworth, casting couch, Cat on the Hot Tin Roof, Emma Stone, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Lindsay Lohan, Movie 43, Naimi Watts, Sccarlett Johansson, wardrobe malfunction | Comments Off

L. Tom Hubbard is still alive and living in TomVille

Posted on January 27, 2013 by tom

Today, we have confirmation that L. Tom Hubbard noted adventurer, sea-captain, military hero, prolific screenwriter, author and founder of the Church of Unscientology is alive and living on a hilltop estate in Southern TomVille. He joins other distinguished residents spotted including Adolph … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Access Hollywood, Adolph Hitler, Col., Dianetics, Elvis, Entertainment Tonight, Fire and Brimstone, John Lennon, L. Ron Hubbard, Lithium Ion batteries, Marlyn Monroe, National Enquirer, OMg Insider, Osama bin Laden, Scientology, Tom Cruise | Comments Off

Is the Administration of Tom the Terrible already in shambles?

Posted on January 23, 2013 by tom

As we enter the second day of the Tom the Terrible Administration, rumors have it that Tom the Terrible is already in trouble. The Secretaries of Labor, Defense, State, Interior, Treasury, Transportation, Defense, and Energy have indicated they are leaving … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Fashion, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Barack obama, Cabinet Secretaries, Gays, gun control, Jason Wu, Lance Armstrong, military, Oprah Winfrey | 3 Comments

King Tom I toppled by Tom the Terrible

Posted on January 22, 2013 by tom

After a brutal 3 day Coronation event marked by Beyoncé accusing him of lip-synching the TomVille Anthem and others accusing him of lip-synching the Coronation Address that was actually delivered fresh off the teleprompter bitter rival Barack O’TomA, Tom was … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Food and drink, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Barack obama, Beyonce Knowles, coup, Hosni Murbarak, Teleprompter | 5 Comments

Beyonce accuses King Tom I of lip-synching Anthem at Coronation

Posted on January 22, 2013 by tom

In a rare rebuke to King Tom I of TomVille, Beyoncé Knowles has accused King Tom I of lip-synching the TomVille anthem at his own Coronation. Tom sang his own Anthem to both show his frugality and to score an audition … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Beyonce Knowles, Inauguration, lip-synch, National Anthem, Teleprompter | 2 Comments

King Tom I vetoes Inauguration bill to taxpayers

Posted on January 21, 2013 by tom

In his first official act since his Coronation, King Tom I has turned down the $100 Million bill to the taxpayers for the Inauguration submitted by his old rival Barack O’TomA. Tom roared from the “Throne” that the Middle Class … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Food and drink, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Barack obama, Coronation, Inauguration, Middle Class, taxpayers | 3 Comments

Brilliant counterprogramming: TomVille State TV schedules Tom’s Coronation against the Inaururation of Barack O’TomA and/or Hugo Chavez

Posted on January 20, 2013 by tom

In a bold move TomVille State TV has broken away from wall-to-wall coverage of Chelsea Clinton’s National Day of Service photo ops to cover Tom’s Coronation. Crack reporters from TomVille Tonight, Access TomVille, Good Morning TomVille and OMG Outsider will cover … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations, Travel | Tagged Barack obama, Camilla Parker-Bowles, Cheyv Impala lowrider, Coronetion, Hugo Chavez, Inauguration, Michelle Obama, Prince Charles | 4 Comments

The most exhaustive search in the history of mankind turns up who???

Posted on January 19, 2013 by tom

With virtually unlimited resources and casting a worldwide net for the most experienced and credentialed investigative journalists, NBC’s Rock (rocks in their head) Center with Brian Williams turned up who as a recurring correspondent ???? MSN.com searched the entire country for … Continue reading →

Posted in Computers and Internet, Entertainment, Health and wellness, News and politics, Organizations | Tagged Brian Williams, Chelsea clinton, National Day of Service, Rock Center | 2 Comments