Monthly Archives: April 2015

Tom spots Smartphone trend and gears up to meet demand

Tom has analyzed the long-term trends that so far has culminated in the Apple iPhone and the Samsung Galaxy 6 models that feature ever bigger screens.  Taking the trend to its logical conclusion Tom has created and will soon be marketing … Continue reading

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Tom Family Foundation and Global Initiative: “Mistakes were made”

With the controversies surrounding the mountains of cash collected by the Tom Family foundation and Global Initiative, the betting line in Vegas is that we are less than a week away from Tom issuing the famous apology, “Mistakes were made”. In … Continue reading

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Will Tom date Bruce Jenner?

It all depends if he can get a turn on “Keeps Up With the Kardashians” and make a play for Khloe.  

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The Tom Family Foundation and Global Initiative: Large Discreet Foreign Donations Welcome

The Tom Family Foundation and Global Initiative just issued a series of important announcements. First, Tom announced that the Foundation was accepting large discreet Foreign donations.  An especially desirable option for our foreign donors are naming rights.  Say for example you … Continue reading

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Tom repositions Hillary Rodman Clinton’s slow-seller “Hard Choices” as a bodice-ripper

While the Hillary Rodman Clinton’s campaign team works to reposition Hillary as a warm and fuzzy grandmother, Tom has taken on the enviable task of turning the Hillary tome “Hard Choices” from the adventures of a steely Secretary of State  … Continue reading

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Tom declares: “I am ready for a job in the mainstream media”

While toiling in the bowels of alternative journalism at WordPress, Tom has undergone an intensive 8 years of Pavlovian conditioning .  Like the dog who salivates when the dinner bell rings, Tom salivates when he sees the warm and fuzzy … Continue reading

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Tiger Woody: “Excuse me, did I just win the Masters?”

Emerging from a 3 year fog, Tiger Woody asked if he won the 2015 Masters.  Judging from all the hype, the answer must be yes.  Tom told Tiger to grab a green jacket and meet him in the cabin.

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Breaking News: Tom challenges Hillary Rodman Clinton on way to Presidential Coronation

Deftly using social media, Tom has laid out his challenge to all but elected President Hillary Rodman Clinton.  Tom said that if you think she has baggage (Cattle futures, Rose Law Firm records, Whitewater, Bill’s Bimbos, HillaryCare, TravelGate, Arab Spring, Russia … Continue reading

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Tom speaks out

Just like others in the media when we are hyped that they will be speaking out, Tom had nothing to say.  The Kardashians and Jenners are so proud.

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Kentucky Wildcats granted a Mulligan in NCAA Basketball Tournament

NCAA officials have granted the Kentucky Wildcats a Mulligan on the way to their universally expected 40-0 season.  Their loss to the Wisconsin Badgers in the Final 4 has been vacated and they will meet TomVille State University (TSU) Mighty … Continue reading

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