Monthly Archives: August 2012

Dirty Harry tries to shoot himself in the foot at RNC and misses

Give Clint Eastwood a bigger gun. His attempt to ruin his long career with his appearance at the Republican national convention just missed the mark. Speaking to an empty chair which was actually occupied by Tom, a crusty Eastwood did … Continue reading

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RNC and DNC Conventions brace for the political carnage from the projected path of Hurricane Tom

Mitt Tomney and Barack O’TomA and their respective minions at the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention are bracing themselves as they are in the path of a devastating Category 7 political Hurricane Tom is spinning their way. … Continue reading

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Tom raked over coals for grousing about President Tweeting about Neil Armstrong’s Death

The condemnation of Tom has been heavy and constant since he groused that the President should not have issued a Twitter Tweet on the death of Neil Armstrong that was dutifully carried on the local news. America wants the Dinosaur … Continue reading

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In a surprise announcement, Tom announced Lance Armstrong will enter the Tour de TomVille

Tom was awash in self congratulations as he announced that No Time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong will compete in this years Tour de TomVille. The entry of Armstrong should bolster sagging Access Cable TV ratings and bring in … Continue reading

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Royal Scandal Part 68? Tom investigates naked pictures of Prince Harry

The Queen of England has engaged Tom to investigate the naked pictures of Prince William that are going viral in the Internet. Tom had determined unequivocally that these naked pictures allegedly from a Vegas romp are actually Photoshoped of Prince … Continue reading

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Who will replace Jurassic Concert stars?

After checking out a well produced Neal Diamond concert recently, Tom wonders who will replace the aging stars like Diamond, Rolling Stones, and Engelbert Humperdinck. Where will women of all ages get their thrills? Are there replacements in the wings … Continue reading

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Barack O’TomA has another orgasm looking at naked images of Mitt Tomney’s tax returns

Embedded reporters are reporting that Barack O’TomA is obsessed with Mitt Tomney’s tax returns and has an orgasm each and every time that he looks at the naked images on his PC. Rumors have it that he is trying to … Continue reading

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Tom screens Expendables 2 and predicts Best Picture Oscar

Returning from the mall theatre where he screened the latest Sylvester Stallone classic “Expendables 2”, Tom boldly predicted a long overdue Best Picture Oscar for Stallone. Stallone was able to assemble the greatest collection of action hero has-beens since Tom … Continue reading

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Joe Biden croons “Unchained Melody” in Time-Life-TomVille Music Video production

Gods gift to the Working Class, Vice-President Joe Biden has released a new music video of “Unchained Melody” with the aid of the dynamic duo. TomVille Tonight reporters embedded in the Biden campaign show Tomney and the Honey Badger fresh … Continue reading

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Central Casting announces that Tom is available to star in Barack O’TomA political ads

In news that Democratic party activist and Barack O’TomA have been praying for, Central Casting announced that Tom will be available to star in political commercials. What could be better than having the most despised man in America pictured shoving … Continue reading

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