Monthly Archives: July 2014

Putin signs Tom as his evil twin

With Syria, Crimea, Ukraine and frowning in pictures with Barack O’TomA, Vladimir Putin has suffered some hits to his PR persona.  In an absolutely brilliant strategic move, Vladimir signed Tom to be his evil twin, “Vlad The Bad”. Tom acting … Continue reading

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A tan and rested Gadhafi asks “Who messed up my country?”

A tan and rested former style icon Col. Moammar Gadhafi gave an exclusive interview to the TomVille Bugle.  While rumored to have been assassinated on October 20, 2011, Moammar revealed that he has been living a “Phantom of the Opera” … Continue reading

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Tom channels Rodney King and asks “Can’t we all get along?”

Despite the highly effective  efforts of the Re-set Specialist and the old Wind Surfer/VietNam Protester, we have a few conflicts going on in the world.  Some of the most bitter conflicts include the following:  Israel v. Hamas, MSNBC v. Sarah … Continue reading

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Tom priases Barack as he keeps fundraisers, but cancels Kimmel appearance

While Tom has been known in the past to be a fierce critic of Barack O’TomA, he was profuse in his praise today when he learned that Barack is keeping his fundraising schedule, but canceling his Jimmy Kimmel appearance to … Continue reading

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Shakira edges out Tom in Facebook likes

The results are in and in a squeaker it was Shakira winning  with 100 million Facebook  likes, Rihanna with 89m, Katy Perry with 72m, Beyoncé with 63m, Britney Spears with 41m, Christina Aguilar with 24m and Tom with 0m. Like … Continue reading

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Tom urges Vlad to adopt a “Speak No Evil, See No Evil, Hear No Evil” defense

With Russian Separatists causing Vlad The Bad problems in the Ukraine, he has retained Tom as his image consultant. Tom is strongly urging Vlad to adopt the “Speak No Evil, See No Evil, Hear No Evil” defense.  Tom previously counseled Barack O’TomA … Continue reading

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Gunnery Sgt. Putin misses target

“O! Дерьмо, I missed the target” groused Gunnery Sgt. Vlad “The Bad” Putin after squeezing the trigger on the Buk (SA-11) missile from the plains of the Ukraine. He thought he had dead aim on the Bird AF 1 flown by … Continue reading

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A modest Herr Tom bellows “Wir sind die Nummer 1”

Basking in the glow of the German soccer team, a bandwagon leading Tom tri,[ets Germany’s world Cup 2014 win. “How come they never huddle up?”, wondered Tom.

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Tom urges obscure heterosexuals to come out of the closet

Tom has noted that America can’t start their day without seeing a coming out Gay announcement by some obscure personality.  Tom himself has anxiously awaited declarations by Daniel Webb, Ian Thorp, Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Clay Aiken and Rosie ‘O’Donnell.  … Continue reading

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An increasingly desperate Khloe Kardashian turns to Tom?

The authoritative US Weekly is reporting that Khloe Kardashian is desperate to get pregnant.  In a time of her urgent need, will she turn to notorious BabyDaddy Tom to quench her desire. If she does, how much will she have … Continue reading

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