Monthly Archives: April 2014

Barack sings “Ukraine” (to tune of Hokey-Pokey)

Posted on April 28, 2014 by tom

Coming off his mega hit ultra soulful rendition of “Crimea River”, Barack O’TomA is back with a delightful Ukraine ditty (sung to the tune of The Hokey Pokey) On the downbeat Barack: Vlad put his left foot in His left foot … Continue reading →

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Tom moves quickly to quash rumors that his images have been Photoshopped

Posted on April 26, 2014 by tom

In a hastily called News Conference, Tom rose to the podium wearing a risky but fashion forward male burka to put an end to the ugly rumors that his images have been Photoshopped.  These lies can not be allowed to … Continue reading →

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Students caught paying attention to a teacher when she did a full contact lap dance

Posted on April 25, 2014 by tom

Fighting student apathy, Houston area Middle Schoolteacher Felicia Smith gave a 4 minute full contact lap dance to a class Birthday Boy.  While Smith has been suspended and arrested, her techniques for keeping students interested in class will be closely studied … Continue reading →

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Justice Department encouraging thousands of Federal prisoners to apply for Presidential Clemency. What could possibly go wrong?

Posted on April 24, 2014 by tom

Attorney General Eric Folder is heading up the Administration efforts to clean out the Federal prisons by encouraging them to apply for Presidential clemency.  You think they petitions might be granted? This is such a brilliant plan.  What could possibly go … Continue reading →

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Tom rips People Magazine a new one over “World’s Most Beautiful” pick

Posted on April 23, 2014 by tom

Tom was outraged over People Magazine naming Lupita Nyong as the World’s Most Beautiful.  People cited her smile, fashion and Oscar. Tom is wondering out loud how Nyong could trump 1st Daughter TommySue with her statuesque beauty and coming off … Continue reading →

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An ever unforgiving and vindictive Tom celebrates Square losing $100 Million in 2013

Posted on April 21, 2014 by tom

Most (actually none) of you will recall a scathing Blog post on Square dated September 12, 2013.  Square is a credit card payment system where small merchants hook the Square device on their smart phone and try to convince customer … Continue reading →

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TomVille 1st Daughter upstages Chelsea Clinton Mezvinsky with bun in the oven announcement

Posted on April 20, 2014 by tom

Racing to the podium at the TomVille Global Initiative Conference was TomVille’s voluptuous 1st Daughter TommySue who announced that she has a bun in the oven and has started the process of elimination in naming the BabyDaddy. This hasty announcement was … Continue reading →

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TomVille eager for the return of the Miniskirt

Posted on April 17, 2014 by tom

An article in the Wall Street Journal today predicting the return of the Miniskirt sparked the interest of fashionistas and other interested parties from all over TomVille. First Daughter TommySue hopes to ride this trend to new skirt heights in … Continue reading →

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Alex, I’ll take Ukraine for $35

Posted on April 16, 2014 by tom

What did Vadimir PuTom say to Barack O’TomA? Categories for Double Jeopardy: Sanctions, Tough Sanctions, Smart Sanctions, Diplomacy, John Kerry, International Community, Joe Biden

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What is all the fuss about U-Crane?

Posted on April 10, 2014 by tom

Why are John Kerry and Barack O’TomA spending so much time talking about a new Crane from Caterpillar, Inc.  It seems to be beneath their dignity to be shilling for CAT and it is talking time away from fund-raising. Say … Continue reading →

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