Monthly Archives: July 2017

The Mooch is out. Is The Tom in?

Posted on July 31, 2017 by tom

With Anthony Scaramucci out as Communications Director,  The Tom asks why not me.  I have already forgotten my cursing lessons.

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Tom upgrades his **(*&^%$#%^&* verbal leadership game

Posted on July 29, 2017 by tom

With prodding from his mentor Anthony Scaramucci, The Tom is working feverishly to salt his speech with more salty language.  This seems to be the only way to rise above the din. Tom will be joining such legendary four mouths … Continue reading →

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Big Reveal: Kim and Kanye’s Surrogate

Posted on July 26, 2017 by tom

With the news that Kayne West and Kim KardASSian’s surrogate is pregnant, the people want to know who the surrogate is and have turned to Tom Enquirer. In an exclusive, The Tom reveals that the surrogate is none other than … Continue reading →

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Did Democrats plagiarize The Donald with their new slogan?

Posted on July 26, 2017 by tom

Right after the Democrats unveiled their new slogan, “Better Deal”. The Tom noticed that 50% of the slogan was plagiarized from The Donald’s “Art of the Deal”. This is the biggest plagiarism scandal since Melania Trump had some similar lines … Continue reading →

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The Tom turns the tables on Adam Schiffless

Posted on July 24, 2017 by tom

After biting his lip for over 6 months, The Tom unloaded on Rank Member Adam Schiffless in language he is uniquely qualified to understand. The Tom said he can’t discuss the evidence, but Schiffless and his colleagues in the Clinton … Continue reading →

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Preempting Adam Schiffless, The Tom bans Russian Rye

Posted on July 17, 2017 by tom

Moving at incredible speed, The Tom preempted Rank Member Adam Schiffless and banned Russian Rye before Schiffless could even start one of his innuendo campaigns. Tom said the evidence for the ban had nothing to do with Donald Jr.’s meeting … Continue reading →

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Russian dressing banned

Posted on July 15, 2017 by tom

Courtesy  of Rank Member Adam Schiffless, King of Innuendo, the manufacture transport, sale and consumption  of Russian Dressing is banned effectively immediately. Schiffless said that we need to further investigate Russian Dressing and let the chips fall were they may.  … Continue reading →

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The Donald introduces The Tom as his new son.

Posted on July 12, 2017 by tom

In a hastily convened major news conference, The Donald said that his former son Don Jr. will be needed to oversee Trump properties in Elbonia.  Consequently, he will  appoint The Tom as his new son. The Tom took the tou\rch … Continue reading →

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Post Plastic Surgery: What went wrong?

Posted on July 9, 2017 by tom

You may have heard that The Tom went under the plastic surgery knife to be able to be a convincing  body double for The Donald.  Plastic Tom, M.D. assured The Tom that he would be using the newest 3-D printer … Continue reading →

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Has The Donald hired The Tom as his body double?

Posted on July 7, 2017 by tom

With the “Resistance” reaching for absurd heights, it was only prudent for The Donald to engage The Tom as his body double. This of course frees up the Donald to Tweet. Only The Tom has the unique qualifications for this … Continue reading →

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