Monthly Archives: January 2019

The Tom announces IPO for Polar Vortex

Ever the advocate of Climate Change, The Tom announces that he has opened an Initial Public Offering (IPO) for Polar Vortex at an initial price point of $1,000 per share. Polar Vortex shares can only be used to combat Climate … Continue reading

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Empty Suit makes Major announcement

In what he billed as a major announcement, Empty Suit Eric Garcetti declared that he was not a candidate for President.  He seemed to throw his support to the next empty suit, Kamala Harris. Evidently , somebody whispered to the … Continue reading

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The Tom already misses wall-to-wall media coverage of furloughed Federal Workers

With the temporary deal sending government workers back to work, The Tom already misses the tear stained non-stop reporting of hardships faced by furloughed Federal workers. The Tom especially sympathized with the non-essential employees sent home who are guaranteed to … Continue reading

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Super Bowl Baby

Is there anything more inane than a local TV News interview with winning fans remote from some bar.  The highlight is some loud mouth with his ball cap on backwards with some hot looking women in the background all yelling … Continue reading

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The Donald urges The Tom to find some money for The Wall in the Bezos’ divorce scrapes

When The Donald heard that The Tom has set his romantic sights on MacKenzie Bezos, he reasoned that in a $137 Billion divorce there is some rounding error funding for a mere $8 Billion Wall extension. Now this is leverage … Continue reading

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The Tom swoops in to provide solace to MacKenzie Bezos

With the news that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos are getting a divorce, The Tom is willing to help MacKenzie  rid herself of the stigma of being the world’s richest women as the Bezos split $137 Billion in Amazon loot. Only … Continue reading

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The Tom lusts in his heart for Nancy Pelosi

They say that power is the greatest aphrodisiac.   The Tom can’t argue as he is being increasingly drawn towards Nancy Pelosi as she enters her 2nd Speakership.  The Tom gets weak in the knees seeing Nancy’s  huge gavels and … Continue reading

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Lindsay Lohan goes nude for photo — Social News XYZ

What is a girl to do?   First she settled her IRS debt and now the tasteful nudes for the masses to enjoy.  Will these Internet critics ever be satisfied?   Los Angeles, Jan 4 (IANS) The “Mean Girls” star … Continue reading

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The Tom tells the Rose Queen, “TMI”

Rose Queen Louise Deser  Siskel submitted a self-serving 4 column Op-Ed in the Los Angeles Times in which she brandished her sexuality as a bi-sexual and a representative of the LBGTQ community. The Tom says Too Much Information (TMI).  Besides … Continue reading

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