Monthly Archives: January 2020

“What about me?” pleads John BolTom

John BolTom is left pleading to Chairman Schiff, Nancy and Chuckie as his star performance looks to be left on the Senate cutting room floor. “What about my book sales, work in future Republican Administrations and all the wonderful Op-Eds … Continue reading

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When did John BolTom become a Progressive Icon?

As part of a documenting history seminar at TomVille State University (TSU), The Tom was tasked of determining when John BolTom became a hero of the Progressive Left. After a careful reading of Bolton’s voluminous  writings, The Tom with speed … Continue reading

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Set pulses racing at the gym as we put racy sportswear to the test — The Sun

Pass the test with flying colors.  “Lets have 3 roll of SKIMS Boob tape on hand for each outfit” ordered The Tom. GYM gear could set pulses racing even faster as sexy styles are more about turning heads than working … Continue reading

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(VIDEO)CARDI B, OFFSET ON GRAMMY PR-AWARD PARTY — The Tom to the rescue

The Tom saved the day when he yelled “Kim we need a few rolls of SKIMS tape ASAP” The Tom saved the day when ye yelled “Kim, we need SKIMSCardi B was almost the victim of a wardrobe malfunction when … Continue reading

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Queen stiffs The Tom in dishing out a new Royal Title

The Tom was beyond outrage when he heard that Liz just appointed Prince William as the Lord High Commissioner to the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. “What the H*** does she want.  I have been taking in huge … Continue reading

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Mr. Peanut dead at 104

https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/national/mr-peanut-is-dead-and-his-funeral-will-air-during-the-super-bowl The Tom is in shock in learning of the death of Mr. Peanut. Chairman Adam Schiff and House Impeachment Managers immediately amended their case to charge Donald J. Trump with the said murder of Mr. Peanut. Stnd by for … Continue reading

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Pam Anderson Married again – Is The Tom the last man standing?

The Tom was outraged when he learned that Pam Anderson married for the 5th time without considering him. Even car purchases include a test drive. Jon Peters, Isn’t he washed up? Only The Tom cam bridge the gay between her … Continue reading

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Queen broaches The Tom for Royal Highness suggestions

The Queen of England ever a savvy business woman has contacted the Tom to get help in monetizing the two vacant Royal Highness positions with the demotions of Harry and Meghan. The Tom proposed an eBay auction for the Royal … Continue reading

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Major Oscar Nomination Snub: The Tom

The Oscar nominations for 2019 are out and there is one and one only major Oscar Nomination snub.  Despite the Academy’s celebration of persons without color and The Tom’s lack of color, he was not nominated.  Go figure. “How come … Continue reading

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The Tom installs SF 49ers as 72 point favorite in League Conference Championship game

Always one to cut precision odds, The Tom has installed the San Francisco 49ers as a 72 point favorite over the worst 14-3 teams ever, the Green Bay Packers. The Packers have  already proven that they are not even in … Continue reading

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