Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dr. Fauci uncorks yet another Wild Pitch

Dr. Fauci best known for the Wild Pitch he served up in the ceremonial first pitch at the Washington Nationals game has uncorked an avalanche of folksy comments as he savors his 15 minutes of fame.  His latest speculation to … Continue reading

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Has The Tom been Unmasked (FISA or COVID)?

It appears that in Lunch Bucket Joe, a woman of color’s, implementation of his Covid strategy which entails placing a mask (Covid)on The Donald has run into a problem. The Tom still needs to be Unmasked.  Enter the supreme Unmasker … Continue reading

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The Tom long known as Half Fast is now criticized for being Half Masked

The Tom is the Poster Boy for full masking.  Let no skin be left uncovered. “The Tom, this mask is foundational” chirped an All Caring Gov. Newsom.

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Kylie Jenner is no longer a $Billionaire

Forbes is reporting that their new research reveals that Kylie Jenner  is not a Billionaire. Still looks like 999 $ Million.  Back to you, FORBES.

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Kim Kardashian’s Skims Releases New Face Masks

Can a The Tom Face Mask be far behind?  We can only hope not.   Kim Kardashian Skim’s brand released a new line of face masks to help fight Covid-19. Kim K’s masks sold out within an hour! Her masks … Continue reading

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Saving Lives (not necessarily yours) Re-opening Beaches Edition

As The Tom has reported all re-opening decisions from the Virus Lockdown are based only on the data, science and experts.  Nothing will be re-opened a day before or a day after it should be. Hence the Beach re-openings in  … Continue reading

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Saving the economy with “Curb Side Pick Up” Virus Edition

As a senior member of the Press, The Tom is highly reverent to those Politicians’ who are saving lives and always follow the data, science and experts in each and  every decision. The Tom’s first question at the Press Conference … Continue reading

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Kim Tom-Un: I am back

Adopting a don’t ask, don’t tell posture for his 3 weeks of absence, Kim Tom-Un announced he was back in an intriguing Press Release on a Fertilizer Factory Grand Opening. “I needed less time away than somebody in the USA … Continue reading

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Deal Signed for Housewives of TomVille

The Tom announced the completion of a mega deal to bring the Housewives of TomVille to Reality TV.  The need for strong Reality TV programming during the Virus Lockdown has never been greater. Produced by The Tom, it will star  … Continue reading

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Beverly Hills votes to allow plastic/cosmetic surgery during virus lockdown

In a highly anticipated and stunning development, the City of Beverly Hills has opened the Virus Lockdown to allow plastic/cosmetic surgery starting April 6, 2020. Normally one of the first stops to show off their big, beautiful new breasts would … Continue reading

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