Shania “Twit” Twain issues another “Trump” apology

To refresh those who have fortunately forgotten this faded star, The Twit Twain is a Canadian citizen who now lives in Switzerland.  She was famous for hijacking American Country and Western  music and used her sex appeal to make money selling records.

Naturally, somebody from the Guardian asked this American election expert a question and she said that she would have voted for The Donald.  Somebody got to the poor The Twit and she has been apologizing for this remark on Twitter for at least the one million time.

For a $1 Million prize, who was dumber:  The Twit or the person who asked The Twit the question?

“But The Donald, The Twit has a lot to offer” said a drooling The Tom

Image result for Shania Twain S Body

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Mao, Hitler, Stalin, Vlad, Saddam, Kim, Barack, Castro and David Hogg — I like my Dictators ruthless

Great Dictators have a lot in common.  Control is the key.  They may control via  dynamic and  frequently long speeches.  Hitler, Castro, Barack O’TomA and David Hogg come to mind   Others including Hitler, Saddam,  and Stalin were willing and able to execute large numbers of people and in Saddam’s case in public.  Others such as Kim Jong Eun are selectively ruthless.

This is why The Tom has come to admire our beloved Dictator-In-Training Parkland’s own David Hogg.  Hogg also uses speaking to large crowds as a key tool in his Dictator Tool Kit.  But his main power to is shame, threaten and boycott.  He has threatened major corporations with his boycott threats.  Colleges have abandoned their admission standards to try to escape his wrath.  His call for Common Sense gun control  measures imply if you don’t agree with him you lack basic common sense.  He wants you to vote based on his one issue and one issue only.  Is this crazy or what?

History has shown that you need to stop Dictators early before they become entrenched.  They sound good in the beginning, but rarely end well.

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Kourtney Kardashian, Ashley Graham; More Stars Get Sexy In Nude Swimsuits, Bras #MeToo

 

Is this the next step in the #MeToo movement.  somehow the Tom is drawn to it.

Kourtney Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, and more celebs love a nude bathing suit! See all the ways your favorite stars have matched a sexy ensemble to their skin tone!

via Kourtney Kardashian, Ashley Graham & More Stars Get Sexy In Nude Swimsuits, Bras & More — Hollywood Life

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Coachella 2018

The Tom just gently reminds you that Coachella 2018 is still Indio, CA with blistering heat and punishing winds to punctuate your musical experience.

The Tom highly recommends that all babes and beauties just but a new hot outfit and tell everybody that you went to Coachella.

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The Tom asks: ” What was in that 6’8″ missile sent to Syria?

An ever curious The Tom asked The Donald what was in that 6’8″ cruise missile with the Slimeball graffiti on the exterior thjat was launched into a Syria chemical weapons facility.

” Will he be back for the George Clintonopoulos interview?”  The Donald cautioned The Tom to “Don’t ask, Don’t tell”

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The Mueller just found evidence of Russian Election Collusion on Stormy Daniels

In an incredible piece of Prosecutorial Investigation, The Mueller just found evidence of Russian Election Collusion in the Stormy Daniels affair.  Surely, The Mueller will be raiding her and her attorney’s houses, offices etc. as he did for The Donald’s personal attorney Michael Cohen.

In addition, The Mueller will be interviewing Stormy Daniels and will pat down her ample bosoms for evidence of her wearing a wire.

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The Donald tells The Tom he can fire The Mueller

The Tom was giddy when he learned that his mentor The Donald said that he can fire The Mueller.  Only a Dictator can’t be fired. And what by the way happened to the Russia Collusion (cue Adam Schiff-less)

Members of Congress are talking about making The Mueller a Dictator with Legislation that protects The Mueller from being fired.

Evidently these legislators slept thru their High School Civic class.  No wait, the legislation will be signed off by President Hillary Rodman Clinton.

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Mr. Zuckerberg goes to Washington

Well look who fell off the Turnip Truck !!!   Like a Heavyweight Boxer entering the ring thru a crush of photographers, enter The Zuckerberg.

With Legislators green with envy of the Zuckerberg wealth reading questions prepared by their staff that they didn’t understand, The Zuckerberg was King.

Breaking into Geek Speak, The Zuckerberg told us that Facebook needs to take a more proactive role and a broader view of out responsibilities:.  What the hell?  What does that mean in English? Will this curb revenue from selling ads?

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In a last dith effort to get a Royal Wedding invitiion, The Tom petitions The Queen

The Tom is becoming increasingly desperate to score an invitation to the Royal Wedding.  The Tom is bitter that his rival Barak O’TomA already has his invitation in hand.

In his petition to Queen Elizabeth, The Tom has pointed out that he is the illegitimate son of none other than Gene Chandler, The Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl.

“Elizabeth, you can put me in the front row” chuckled The Tom.

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Where is my invitation to the Royal Wedding?

The Tom is starting to get nervous as he has not yet received his invitation to the Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

Is it because The Donald has criticized the Post Office and the preference it is giving Amazon that has led to deep sixing The Tom’s invitation.  Or is it because The Tom is a known protegé of The Donald.

Or is it because the invitation to the current Real President the smooth talking Barack O’TomA or the President in Waiting Hillary Rodman Clinton.

“Somebody is going to get fired” bellowed The Tom

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