In her eagerness to declare that Tuli Gabbard (D-Hawaii) is being groomed as a Russian Asset, Hillary Rodman Clinton declared herself a Russian Asset ready to launch a 3rd party challenge. The only thing she is missing is Gabbard’s stint as a Combat Vet and a Major in the Army National Guard.
Clinton on the other hand is like most Generals and is fighting the last war with The Donald along with the wit and wisdom of Chairman Schiff.
“Calling Robert Mueller” chortled The Tom,
From deep in the secret testimony room in the Capitol basement, Democrat People’s Republic of the former USA Chairman Adam Schiff(less) has appointed King LaTom James as his new China Policy Advisor.
The wisdom is evident in the following statement from LaTom regarding the NBA-China conflict sparked by Rocket’s GM Daryl Morey:
“I don’t want to get in a word or sentence feud with DaryMorey . But I believe he wasn’t educated on the situation at hand and he spoke,” James said before the Lakers’ preseason game against the Golden State Warriors on Monday at Staples Center. “So many people could have been harmed, not only physically or financially, but emotionally and spiritually. Just be careful what we tweet, what we say and what we do. We do have freedom of speech, but there can be a lot of negative things that come with that too.”
LaTom said that he will carve out an exception to his doctrine for Chairman Schiff.
Stepping over the mangled bodies of Rudi Giuliani and Nancy Pelosi, coup leader Adam Schiff(less) announced that he is the new Chairman of the People’s Republic of USA and that the Coup (err) Impeachment is final with enough evidence from secret testimony, subpoenaed documents and rumors about Trump’s tax returns to make the coup necessary.
All citizens will report to their county of birth and meet with Tax Collector Elizabeth Warren.
“Get The Tom on the Horn, we need more TV time and The Tom is still the go to guy” barked Schiff.
Watch out Kylie, Jazmine is in your rear view mirror and gaining fast. You don’t want what happened with Lindsay Lohan. Time to step up your game.
Cleaning out the storage at my parents house
via Corduroy Bliss — Sheerstomping
By general agreement, all reports mentioning the Bidens and Ukraine, must lead with the statement that there is no evidence that Joe or Hunter Biden did anything wrong. Of course this may be due to a combination of factors like nobody has looked or somebody paid Hunter $50,000/Month to sit on a Board because of his unique knowledge of Management and the Oil and Gas Industry (Perhaps it was Climate Change expertise). This was an opportunity not offered to The Tom Jr.
So maybe it is time to emulate The Tom and ask Lunch Bucket Joe “What is in your Lunch Bucket?”
Tom-Life Music announces that they have released the recording of The Tom crooning the take off on Engelbert Humperdinck classic “Please Release Me”
Please Impeach me let me go
for I don’t love you anymore
I am so sick of Adam Schiff(less) on TV & I win in the Senate
Please Impeach Me let me go
Have Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott split over Kylie’s desire for a second baby?
Enter The Tom who assures Kylie that he is ready, willing and able to start on this project immediately.
“It is Season 18, Baby” enthused The Tom
“Finally a new clothing line for the KardASShian girls to promote by wearing little or no clothes” remarked The Tom.
Another day, another Kardashian business.
via Kardashian Kloset Set to Debut Friday — WWD
The Tom has contacted corrupt officials in the Ukraine to open up a Board position that pays at least $50,000/Month for First Daughter of TomVille TommySue.
Contrary to reports that Lunch Bucket Joe’s didn’t have any special expertise, TommySue is fully versed in Strip Clubs from performance to management.
TommySue’s resume is attached.
After the Climate Change strikes yesterday, most thinking people think the young are our future and only they can get us to make the proper policy choices on climate change.
The Tom asks “Has anybody advocating this ever raised a teenager?” If so, I am sure they want to turn dictatorial powers over to Greta Thunberg. After all she sailed the Atlantic in a solar power boat.