Tom announes three “shovel ready” projects

The stimulus of 2009 failed to find an adequate number of shovel ready projects to fund.

The Tom has announced that he has certified three “shovel ready” projects.

These projects are shoveling out the B.S. from the Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Michigan recounts.  Jill Stein –  Definition:  Hillary Rodman Clinton Stalking Horse.

 

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Hillary takes own advice and rekindles her Presidential campaign

After considerable soul-searching, Hillary Rodman Clinton was drawn to a phrase from her concession speech.  Her spirits soared as she remember the part where she said that when life deals you a tough blow ” get up, dust yourself off” and start recounting every last vote.

First order of business is to order the elimination of all ballots cast by Deplorables and the new Boogeyman,  Alt-Right.

With that accomplished, all that is left is to find the one Progressive who mistakenly voted for Trump and put him through a re-education camp.

“God. I love that dingbat Jill Stein”, gushed a glowing Hillary.

“I think I can get my hands as a consultant on some of that Green Party ‘Green'”  trumpeted The Tom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

after this the only thingleft to do is to find the One

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Battle Of The Kardashian Booties — Black Voices Rock

This is an EPIC battle that dwarfs the battle against ISIS.  Who knew that Kim and Khloe were such warriors.

Battle of the booty! Kim Kardashian and sister Khloe roll around in dirt for Yeezy fashion shoot helmed by Kanye West

via Battle Of The Kardashian Booties — Black Voices Rock

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Is Hillary on the Short List for Seretary of State?

Sources in the Trump Transition Team are saying that Hillary Rodman Clinton is emerging as a rival to Mitt Tomney as Secretary of State.

First and foremost, we already have a Madam Secretary on TV so we wouldn’t have to reinvent this tortured concept.  Second The Donald could put her on a plane and let her break her previous record for miles flown.  Of course she may not be available until after she and Jill Stein finish recounting all 125 million votes cast.  They should finish the vote recount during the second term of the Pence Administration.

Some would say that the Mitt Tomney hair and jaw line make him the most viable candidate.

Others are supporting the infamous bomb thrower The Tom for the position.  The Tom is touting his diplomatic chops as a cross between Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin.

Others think the die has been cast.

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Tom assures reader(s) that this Blog will continue to profit from fake news

Tom called a major news conference to clarify his position on Fake News.  This is an issue that has Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook and Larry Page of Google scrambling for cover as for years they have reaped huge advertising profits off of fake news.

Tom reassured the assembled masses that he is willing and able to take in more fake news and sell ads to the highest bidders.  The blog always has an always will be a premier source for fake news.  We will not compromise.

How fake can it be if it brings in real money.

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How many celebrities have moved out of the country since Trump won?

Despite a boatload of celebrities threatening to leave the country if Donald J. Trump won, Tom is reporting that the count currently ix Zero.

Wait Tom, Brietbart News is reporting that Hillary Rodman Clinton has moved.

Image result for uhaul

Tom, we need snap rulings that only you in your wisdom can provide.  Do moves to the Democrat Peoples Republic of California count?  Is a move necessary if California secedes from the Union?  Will extra credit be given for taking young children to Mexico so they can be Mexican Dreamers? No, No and Hell Yes.

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Kylie Jenner Reveals Lingerie Line “The Kylie Shop” — ButIsItNEW

Does she reveal more than the Lingerie line?  If it is Kardashian, it has to be tasteful.

 

The youngest Kardashian — Kylie Jenner reveals her upcoming lingerie line The Kylie Shop.

via Kylie Jenner Reveals Lingerie Line “The Kylie Shop” — ButIsItNEW

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Who unearthed Mitt Tomney?

So Tom wakes up to the news that Mitt Tomney is a leading candidate for Secretary of State in a dynamic Donald J. Trump Administration.

Is this a plant story by the Big Media Party (formerly known as the Democratic Party) to embarrass the Transition led by Mike Pence?

We all know that Mitt Tomney was buried by Barack O’TomA in 2012 so far and so deep that even Geraldo Rivera couldn’t find him.  We were more likely to see Jimmy Hoffa before Mitt.

Plus he bad mouthed the Donald.

But look at that hair and that jaw line.  We need Mitt Tomney more that ever.  This is what a America Great Again looks like.

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Hillary’s fierey new Agent inks high profile deals

Since signing on with Tom’s Talent Agency in the early morning of November 9, 2016, Hillary Rodman Clinton is hot again.

The fiery Alt-Right Tom has inked a slew of blockbuster deals for America’s darling.  First up is a gig on Season 24 of “Dancing with the Stars” (DWTS).  She will be paired up with two to three beefy Secret Service Agency who will guide her by the elbow as she dances up a storm.

Next up is an exclusive deal to appear as a contestant on Season 9 of the”Celebrity Apprentice”.  She is expected to recreate the role of famed contestant Omarosa and also translate the mumblings of host Arnold Schwarzenegger.  With a record $Billion + raised for her campaign, she may set “Celebrity Apprentice” records.

Finally to halt sagging ratings, Hillary will replace Tea Leoni in Season 4 of “Madam Secretary”.  In this, role she will bring new meaning to “Extreme Carelessness”.

“We have hit the trifecta”, gloated Tom.

 

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Are You Suffering From Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD)? — pundit from another planet

Please contact Tom for reasonable counseling prices.  “Tom is my name.  Misery is my game”.

Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideation, and extreme sadness. Signs and Symptoms: […]

via Are You Suffering From Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD)? — pundit from another planet

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