Throwing down the gauntlet, LaTom is getting right in the grill of nightmare helicopter Dad LaVar Ball and his Big Baller sneaker produced for his son UCLA dropout Lonzo Ball.
When LaTom learned that LaVar set a price point of $495 for the signature sneaker, LaTom knew that he could crush the obnoxious LaVar. LaTom priced his signature sneaker, The Blog” at $1,000 per copy with production costs south of $9.99.
“Bring it on” bellowed LaTom
Hillary Rodman Clinton has recently emerged to explain her stunning defeat. She took total ownership. She did NOT blame FBI Director James Comey. She did NOT blame Vlad Putin and the Russians. She did NOT blame blacks for not showing up at the polls in numbers. She did NOT blame knuckle dragging Alt-Right Trump supporters. She did NOT blame a vast Right Wing conspiracy. She did NOT blame Tom for unearthing a string of scandals going back to days trading cattle futures.
America has fallen back in love with her. In light of this, Tom is shopping a dream Hillary Clinton-Barack O’TomA ticket in 2020.
Posted in Entertainment, Humor, News and politics, Organizations
Tagged Alt-Right, Barack obama, Cattle Futures, Donald J. Trump, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Comey, Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, Vladimir Putin
In a city bristling with pride as it celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Los Angeles Civil Unrest of 1992 with wall to wall media coverage, TV specials and street fairs, City and community leaders turned to Tom to rebrand the Civil Unrest euphemism. Those with a long memory will recall that the event was always called Civil Unrest and the R word was never spoken.
Due to Tom’s efforts all the recent coverage now uses the re-branded title Riots of 1992.
Tom opined if 6 days of unrest, 13,500 Guard and Soldiers deployed, 53 deaths, 2,283 injuries, 16,000 reported crimes, 7,000 fires and over $1 Billion in property damage doesn’t earn the riot moniker what does?
Congratulations Los Angeles, You got the Big R. You earned it.
Fakebook’s quest for the next revenue gusher has materialized beyond all expectations. Who can resist watching a murder or suicide in real time?
What a concept. Just let the people do the hard work and sit back an reap the Ad dollars.
Sensing a gusher of money, Tom inked a deal to represent Barack O’TomA for any and all future speeches. Tom groused that Barack only got $400,000 for his recent speech at the Wall Street firm Cantor and Fitzgerald.
Before signing on with Tom, Barack groused that his fee was almost as minor league as the Clintons received.
Barack proclaimed that “I am always for the little guy.”
In a war that goes back at least 5 years, Google has endeavored to suppress search rankings for this Blog. It started with a Google Algorithm to lower the rankings of uninteresting sites to the recent Google Algorithm to weed out Fake News.
Since Tom is an unabashed supporter and portrayer of Fake News, Google is taking the battle to the heart of Tom’s Empire.
Calling Barack O’TomA, “What happened to Net Neutrality?”
Barack O’TomA couldn’t even wait 100 days to return to the public square to save us. Why couldn’t he follow the lead of George W. Bush and keep quiet? In his speech and panel at the University of Chicago, he lamented that he didn’t bring the country closer together. Evidently, he must have inadvertently forgotten his 8 years to pitting groups against each other for political gain. Remember gays against straights, old male trans against little girls and their parents, blacks against the police, blacks against whites, college students against working class kids, everybody against the wealthy, everybody against the Banks, women against men, and Democrats against Republicans.
The Tom can only see this as conversion. Please shield the innocent like The Donald
In a no holds bared speech at the conclusion of the 1st round of the French Presidential Election, Tom called for supporters of Marine Le Pen of the National Front and Emmanuel Macron of En Marche to declare their position on bringing back Freedom Fries to replace French Fries. This could be the key issue in the Run-Off.
Finally enough is enough and Tom has called for the Impeachment of The Tom. In a News Conference and in a flurry of late night Tweets, Tom outlined his compelling case which includes the following: beat Hillary Rodman Clinton, nominated a Supreme Court justice, beat Hillary, cut money from Tom’s special programs, beat Hillary, has not come up with competing chants for mass demonstrations, beat Hillary, wants to enforce immigration laws, heat Hillary, loves Putin, beat Hillary, changing hairstyle from the Trump to the Kim Jong-Tom Nuke., beat Hillary, beat Hillary and beat Hillary.
No sooner did Tom wrestle the King of Selfies title from the reigning champion the Queen of Selfies, a 15-year-old hottie from Bethesda, MD that he started to notice changes. It appears that Charles Darwin was right as Tom’s selfie arm continues to grow.
“I just can’t help myself. I love each and every picture of myself” demurred Tom.