The Tom has announced that the Boycotts of “The Truth According To Tom” by our greatest heroes such as The Rev. Al SharpTom and David “lunch room pal” Hogg have been completely and totally successful. Readership of this Blog have fallen to zero or below. They have succeeded where even Google logarithm suppression has failed.
Gentlemen, “Well Done”
Is Kylie Jenner’s baby Stormi a tribute name to the famous and patriotic Stormy Daniels?
The Tom is investigating and a major story will be forthcoming in the TomVille Times (All the News Unfit to print)
Since The Tom was only aware of the famous KardaASShian back side, he anxiously awaits this vote
Kylie Jenner, Kourtney & Khloe Kardashian are three of the hottest moms around, but which one of these sexy sisters can pull off midriff-baring tops best? Check out the pics and vote!
via Kylie Jenner Vs. Khloe & Kourtney Kardashian: Which KarJenner Mom Wore The Sexiest Crop Top? — Hollywood Life
The Tom has finally proven that there is no such thing as Media bias. For example when our beloved Barack O’TomA was President, everything that he did no matter how minor was characterized as “Historic”. Everything that The Donald does no matter how effective is characterized as “Unprecedented”. Why would a President not take a Chief of Staff into an intelligence briefing?
” you say po tA toe and I say po tah toe”
In the memorable words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all get along”
Various media outlets are reporting that The Tom made the recommendation to delay the Nuclear Summit with Kim Jong Tom over a critical style issue. It seems that the young Korean Dictator has moved ahead in the critical coiffed hair department.
The Tom is working day and night to come up with a modern look of wisdom and strength for The Donald.
Incredibly The Tom upstaged all the Royal Wedding hype when The Queen of Hearts Juice Newton Announced that The Duke, Duke ,Duke of Earl torch has been passed from Gene Chandler to The Tom.
Some cynics are saying that The Tom arranged this because he was hurt when that wiener Prince Charles walked The Megan down the aisle. The Tom clearly wanted this assignment. “Now can we all get back to normal and concentrate on The Megan’s half sister and brother” ordered The Tom.
The Tom Bobble Heads as The Duke of Earl go on sale at noon.
Posted in Entertainment, humor, News and politics, Organizations
Tagged Bobblr Heads, Duke of Earl, Gene Chandler, Juice Newton, Meghan Markle, Prince Charles, Queen of Hearts, Royal Wedding
After a ton of fast talking, The Tom convinced The Thomas to use the old heart surgery excuse to skip the Royal Wedding and hang our with the paparazzi. In turn, The Tom pledged to handle any miscellaneous duties like walking Megan down the aisle.
In addition, The Tom is pleased to announce that he will be appearing as a male stripper at Megan’s Bachelorette Party. The Tom will enter the room dressed as a sexy political consultant and leave wearing only a smile.
And the biggest bonus is that The Tom will be able to take the reflected Markle Sparkle home to an ever lovely Lindsay Lohan.
With Meghan Markle’s father bowing out of the wedding as father of the Bride due to the after effects of a heart attack and a paparazzi scandal allegedly selling staged photos, everybody is clamoring for The Tom to stand in and walk the Bride down the aisle.
But sadly, The Tom says No. But the photo sales jig does sound intriguing.
“OMG”,exclaimed The Tom. The Ever Lovely The Donald should walk The Lovely Meghan down the aisle. In fact the NYT and WP may have DNA evidence that The Donald impregnated 99.9% of the world’s women and The Tom covering the balance.”
The Tom can only hope that Lindsay Lohan is in his field.
Posted in Entertainment, humor, News and politics, Organizations, Travel
Tagged Donald J. Trump, Lindsay Lohan, Meghan Markle, Meghan Markle's father, Paparazzi, Royal Wedding, Scandal, TMZ
The Tom is listening carefully for a Dog Whistle from The Gina Haspel who is undergoing Senate Confirmation Hearings on her appointment to head the CIA. It is amazing that there are Senators including female Senator who are picking apart The Gina over her 30+ year career in the CIA She could be the most qualified CIA Director ever. This from a crew that is allegedly concerned that not enough women are being appointed to the highest levels of business and government.
If the Tom gets the Dog Whistle. he will immediately move to water board the dissenting Senators.