The Tom pivots in Middle East in anticipation of …?

All the headlines blare that The Tom is pivoting on the Middle East because of Russia, Assad and ISIS.  But The Tom keeps his options open and is practicing the Pivot in anticipation of Season 25 of Dancing With The Stars.  Numerous news outlets are reporting leaks by authoritative sources who wish to remain anonymous  that The Tom in spandex is not a pretty sight.

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Will there be a dance off between The Tom and Vlad The Bad?


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Mainstream Media facing bankruptcy outsources pundit work

With the mainstream media facing intellectual bankruptcy, a major player outsources intellectual commentary to an Aussie.  Media darling Charlie Rose chose former Aussie Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to make sense of it all.

In typical Aussie fashion, Rudd put it succinctly “Trump won the election”

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The Tom puts Vlad The Bad on speedial

With The Tom withstanding withering attacks from Rep. Adam Schiffless, he wonders who made the law that every article about Trump’s wiretapping allegations must include the phrase “without proof” while Shiftless’ wild allegations are assumed to be facts without proof.

Is it time to call in The Vlad to make sense of this situation?  Is there ever proof until there is proof?

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Hosni Mubarak — Making Egypt Great Again

With news that one of Tom’s all time favorites Hosni Mubarak has been freed from jail, Hosni is ready willing and able to Make Egypt Great Again.  Although most observers don’t remember when Egypt was last great under Cleopatra (Liz Taylor).

First on the Agenda for Hosni is rounding up the old gang including Saddam Hussein and Col. and fashion icon Moammar Gadhafi.

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Was Barack wiretapping The Tom rather than The Donald?

We now conclusively know beyond a shadow of any doubt that The Barack O’TomA’s Administration did not wiretap The Donald.  How do we know this with such absolute confidence?  We know it because the secretive CIA, FBI and NSA say it didn’t happen and the Media blessed their denials.  The fact that is if they did wiretap The Donald they might have to spend time in the slammer.  But of course they would prefer jail if it helped getting the truth out.

By wiretapping The Tom they have access to The Donald as an incidental finding.  In addition access to The Tom is most valuable to The Donald and the O’TomA crew as The Tom is the only person alive who is able to translate the intellectual Kryptonite straight from the mind of Steve BanTom.  For security reasons, The Tom is now in hiding in the Tom Towers.

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CNN Scoop

Found on Twitter from James Woods


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Tom demonstrates an incredible feat of strength

While others may lose strength with age, Tom is proving to be the exception that proves the rule.  There was a time a few years ago when Tom struggled to bring in $200 worth of groceries.  Just the other day Tom defied the odds and expectations and easily brought in $300 worth of groceries without even breaking a sweat.

Perhaps the only other human able to accomplish this is Janet Yellen herself.

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Make America Great Again — Party Lines

It appears that The Donald and Barack O;TomA can agree that we need to bring Party Lines back.  No need for wire taps, warrant et.  Just pick up the phone and start listening.

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Hot in Fashion: Kylie Jenner and Fashion Nova Loungewear

Source: Hot in Fashion: Kylie Jenner and Fashion Nova Loungewear

Finally an outfit that shows Kylie Jenner at her “fun and flirty” best as opposed to Nicki Minag, Khloe KardASShian, Amber Rose, Bella Thorne and Blac Chyna who look fun, but not as flirty.

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Hillary offers secure server service to CIA and others

With the recent hacking of the CIA’s IT network and the subsequent posting of thousands of CIA documents on WikiLeaks, Hillary Rodman Clinton is hawking her secure server service.  This is not some lofty cloud service, but rather a private server grounded in the musty basement of her Chappaqua, NY home.  The record is clear that the Clinton service was impenetrable with not one deletion recovered and not one private email to Chelsea Clinton about her wedding and other important State Department business.

All parties interesting in purchasing this service are directed to Tom.  Donations to the Clinton Foundation and Global Initiative are also appreciated.

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