With Rank Member Adam Schiffless spewing innuendo about Trump Russian collusion, the Chief Tom is reconstituting the old CONTROL Intelligence Agency to fight this barrage. Special Agent Max Smart and Agent 99 are already on the case with Laraby and Hymie scheduled to report tomorrow.
It may be that CONTROL is the only agency that can get this nonsense under control.
Posted in Entertainment, humor, News and politics, Organizations
Tagged Adam Schiff, Agent 99, Barbara Feldon, CONTROL, Donald J. Trump, Get Smart, KAOS, Max Smart
The Tom has come roaring out of the box with victories in 5 straight Special Elections for House of Representatives. Some may say the public is souring a bit on the non-Stop Russian Collusion innuendo against Trump and those in his orbit. Others may become physically ill seeing Adam Shiffless on TV 24/7 saying he just wants to go where the evidence and his innuendo takes him as long as it indicts Trump and clears Barack O’TomA and his Administration.
Tom is leading the cheers for Pelosi, Chuckie Schumer, J. Edgar Comey and Adam Shiffless to keep doing their thing. Tom is offering this advise “If it ain’t broke, don’t change it”. However a little more resistance and obstructionism could help” deadpanned The Tom. Clear the Twitter pipes.
How is it that everything possible leaks in Washington D.C, but we can’t find out the final vote in the Cosby trial?
Tom took time out of his busy schedule to congratulate Yuk Zuckerberg on accumulating $Billions facilitating virulent rhetoric. The Z man is now proposing Artificial Intelligence (AI) to rid Facebook of terrorist writings.
But as we have learned in the shooting of House Majority WIO Steve Scalise by James Hodgkinson, Facebook still serves as a ready and willing vehicle for the worse political rhetoric and facilitates the sharing of political stuff that could never survive the most rudimentary critical thinking,
Cut out the middle man and send your money directly to Tom
Tom is proud to announce that he has approved production of the new FBI files titled the ” C.Y.A. FBI Files” staring J. Edgar Comey. Tom says that the new show will be a riveting reboot of the Discovery Channel series that ran from 1998 to 2006.
In the new show, you will learn of all the ways that J. Edgar used to Cover his Ass (CYA). As a teaser, Tom has released previews of the first show where Director J. Edgar meets Tom in the restroom and immediately dashes to FBI Headquarters to document Tom saying Hi and J. Edgar clamming to say Hello. Then J. Edgar gives a copy of his memo to self to some obscure lawyer to give Lawyer-client privilege and who then gives it to the Press. It depends what your definition of a leak is,
In the final scene with pens blazing, J. Edgar slips accountability yet again. (clearing Boston Marathon brothers, clearing Nidal Hasan, clearing Khmud Khan Rahawi, clearing Omar Mateen and clearing Hillary Rodman Clinton twice). This is definitely Must See TV.
With a dogged determination, J. Edgar Comey, an unelected subordinate, is attempting to bring down The Tom. J. Edgar is approaching it with a determination worthy of a brick by brick dismantling of the Tom Tower.
In his arsenal, J. Edgar has a memo to himself which he had leaked to the Press. Now some might wonder if a person who had to write memos to themselves might be called paranoid. Second, could there possibly be a more biased source of information about what happened to oneself than oneself? Most supervisors who have supervised these self-documenting employees know that more often than not the self documentation is not accurate.
The Tom thinks it is well past time to hang J. Edgar Comey’s picture at FBI Headquarters with dates of service and move on. Memo to J. Edgar Comey: Your 15 Minutes of Fame are over.
The Tom took one look at the blockbuster ratings and huge Q score on Sunday Night with Megan Kelly. The breakout star and deserving of his own program was Vlad “The Bad Putin”. Putin will move to the anchor desk on June 14th and the program will be renamed Sunday Night with Vlad Putin.
In his first appearance, Putin batted down all the ridiculous Democrat conspiracy theories and floated some frightening possibilities.
NBC Executives assured Tom they will ride this horse as long as it takes for Putin to ride bare-chested into the studio.
With The Donald announcing the withdrawal for the Paris Climate Accord, Tom is expecting blistering “Hot Air” that may melt all the glaciers and icebergs in the world. It will get overheated.
Where is Al Bore when we need him to calm things down?
The media world is all abuzz with the news that Scott Pelley is out at CBS Evening News. It is rumored that he was let go because as Managing Editor, he had too few anti Trump pieces and even let in one favorable story.
The leading contender to replace Pelley is Walter Tom Cronkite. W. Tom is a failed trust fund baby that was once known as the Most Distrusted Man in America.
W. Tom was rehabilitated by The Tom in the rough and tumble world of TomVille TV news.
“And that is the way it is”, chortled Tom.