Tag Archives: FBI

Tom greenlights a reboot of the FBI Files starring J. Edgar Comey

Tom is proud to announce that he has approved production of the new FBI files titled the ” C.Y.A. FBI Files” staring J. Edgar Comey.  Tom says that the new show will be a riveting reboot of the Discovery Channel series … Continue reading

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Tom scores exclusive interview with J. Edgar Comey

In an exclusive off the record interview with unnamed source J. Edgar Comey, Tom was bowled over by the Comey mystique and his sterling record.  He indicated that his crowning achievement was manufacturing CYA  memos to himself about The Donald. … Continue reading

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The Tom fires Eliot Ness

In a move that et TomVille all a Twitter, The Tom fired FBI Director Eliot Ness.  With chants of “Lock Her Up” booming in the background.  Tom cited poor ratings for Untouchables reruns as the primary cause for the dismissal. … Continue reading

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Was Barack wiretapping The Tom rather than The Donald?

We now conclusively know beyond a shadow of any doubt that The Barack O’TomA’s Administration did not wiretap The Donald.  How do we know this with such absolute confidence?  We know it because the secretive CIA, FBI and NSA say … Continue reading

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Will high draft pick Hillary Clinton pass NFL Concussion Protocol?

With the FBI providing information that Hillary Rodman Clinton could not recall  details 26 times citing her concussion, Tom doubts that she could pass the NFL concussion protocol. Thus, Clinton is ineligible to play in the NFL and in the … Continue reading

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Hillary: “Still crazy after all these years”

With a tip of the cap to the Paul Simon classic “Still crazy after all these years”. The Tom notes that Hillary Rodman Clinton still demonstrates clinical paranoia. In 1998 while defending Wild Bill Clinton to Matt Lauer, she said that … Continue reading

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FBI cleared Dzhekhar Tsamaev, Tamerlan Tsamaev, Omar Mateen and Hillary Rodman Clinton

In another episode of your tax dollars hard at work, FBI Director James Comey despite the facts cleared Hillary Rodman Clinton in the private email server scandal.  Clinton was interviewed on Saturday and a full FBI report was prepared on … Continue reading

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And the crowd cheers, “F-B-I, F-B-I”

The crowd chant shifted from “M-V-P (Most Vulnerable Person)” to F-B-I” as Hillary Rodman Clinton made her appearance at FBI Headquarters where the FBI is investigating her emails. Is it not true that lying to the FBI is a punishable offense.  … Continue reading

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Tim Cook keeps biting into the sour Apple

No doubt Tim Cook is smarter than me.  But if this is so, why does he continue to bite into the sour Apple which is fighting a legitimate Search Warrant. The FBI wants to get into the iPhone used by … Continue reading

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Tom spots fast fashion trend at 5 p.m. (EST) FBI Press Conference

Tom was the very first to notice the instant fashion trend among young men. As the FBI in Boston was showing publicity photos of the vanilla Rapper known only as Suspect 2, millions of young men were reorienting their baseball … Continue reading

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